Do you ever feel like no one likes you? I remember sitting in my house when my kids were little, thinking that the only person who liked me was our one year old—and she liked everyone!
The truth is, people did like me back in those days. But I was so insecure, I didn’t always believe it. The following is an excerpt from my journal on one of those days almost 12 years ago:
1. Megan (not her real name!) doesn’t like me.
Truth: This is possible. I’ll never know unless I ask. And I’m not going to ask!
2. She thinks I’m obnoxious.
Truth: Every person has a good and bad side to their personality. So do I. The sad but true fact is that sometimes I will annoy people. This is inevitable. A fact of life, not something to be insecure about.
The wonderful thing is that God delights in me. He forgives and glosses over the obnoxious parts of my personality and His Holy Spirit cleanses me from sin and uses these experiences to shape me into the person He wants me to be.
When others disapprove of me, it’s not a sign for me to get all insecure and think I’m terrible and try to measure up. Instead, it’s a sign for me to check my behavior and ask, “Am I all God wants me to be in this area of my life, or is there something I need to change so I can love others better?”
Thank you, Lord, for the people who disapprove of me because you can use them for my good.
3. I need to act differently so she likes me and thinks well of me.
Truth: Not true. Sometimes people are just different, and they don’t click. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay if I don’t click with everyone. It doesn’t make me bad, just different.
Note 10/10/16: I have no idea what situation I was journaling about, but I’m guessing it wasn’t a situation where I had sinned against the person, judging by the truth I wrote down. If I had sinned against her, the truth would have been, “Yes, I do need to act differently, but not so she likes me and thinks well of me. I need to act differently so I can love her better. And because God wants me to change in this area of my life.”
4. I need to live up to her standards.
Truth: I can never live up to her standards because I’m not that type of person. So don’t even try.
6 Lies That Make Us Feel Insecure
After truth journaling, I wrote this chart in my journal:
1. I need to be well liked.
1. You are already loved.
2. I need to measure up.
2. You can’t measure up. That’s why I died for you.
3. I need everyone’s approval.
3. That’s impossible. Seek only My Approval.
4. I have to be the life of the party.
4. I (God) am the life of the party.
5. It’s terrible when people don’t like me.
5. It is an opportunity for growth when people don’t like you. A chance for you to check your behavior. A chance for you to become like Me. And a chance for you to toughen up and seek My approval alone.
6. I’ll love you if…
6. I’ll love you period. You are already delightful to Me.
Whenever I take the time to carry my thoughts captive to the truth, I always feel better.
New Podcast Episode
I also wanted to let you know that I recorded a new podcast on procrastination but since I attached it to an old blog post, it won’t show up as a new podcast. To find it, go to the Christian Habits Podcast on iTunes (or your Android podcast phone app) and look at the bottom of the list. It’s called 9 Questions That Will Help You Stop Procrastinating.