Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Or that if you could just change that one thing about yourself or your life, that then people would love and respect you?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we have to perform if we want people to love and accept us.
This usually isn’t true, but we think it is. After all, that’s the way it worked in high school. Or grade school. Or the homes we grew up in.
When you learn a lesson that young, it’s easy to carry it through life, thinking that’s just the way life works.
But it’s not. At least, not usually.
Think of it. If you’re an adult, when was the last time someone yelled at you because you didn’t dunk a basketball? Or refused to talk to you because you weren’t popular? Or laughed at you because you were wearing a dorky outfit?
Chances are, you’re trying to measure up to the expectations of others because you haven’t let go of those childhood fears of what will happen to you if you don’t. Here’s a worksheet that will help you work through some of those old childhood beliefs.
Bible Study: When You’re Not Good Enough
- List some times in your childhood or young adulthood when you didn’t feel like you were “good enough” or when you didn’t live up to people’s expectations for you.
- How did you see yourself in those situations?
- How did others see you?
- How did God see you in each of those situations? (Psalm 139:13-15, Ephesians 2:10, Romans 3:23)
- How is God’s view of you different than your own view and other’s view of you?
- In what areas of your life do you currently feel like you don’t measure up?
- What are you using as your measuring stick? In other words, what is your set of standards for whether or not you’re “acceptable”?
- Think of everything you’ve read in the Bible. How do you think God feels about your measuring stick?
- How does God feel about you if you’re a believer? (Isaiah 62:4-5, Zephaniah 3:17, 1 Peter 2:9-10, Jeremiah 31:3-4, 20)
- How does that make you feel?
- If life is about being comfortable and feeling good about yourself, would it be best to leave all those situations and relationships in life where you don’t “measure up”? Why or why not?
- If life is about loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind and your neighbor as yourself—is it best to leave all those situations and relationships in life where you don’t “measure up”? Why or why not? (Note: I’m not talking about dating relationships. Those might be wise to leave.)
- Do you think God is trying to teach you anything through the situation you mentioned in #6? If so, what do you think He’s trying to teach you?
- What can you thank God for in your current situation where you don’t measure up?
P.S. For more help with insecurity, see the insecurity questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat).
You have no idea how much this ministered to me today, thank you! Too personal to go into detail here, but this helped me soooo much.
I’m so glad, TC. :)
This was so funny. I read this last night before my prayers, and going to bed. And then I thought- y’know I don’t think this is a problem right now. But when I start praying. I start thinking- “man, I’m a mess.” Now that’s not new thinking. But I hadn’t paid much attention to it? LOL! And then I realized, I needed to re-read it and answer each thought with #11-14!! Of course I waited till morning. And wow! I resolved some things I didn’t realize were weighing as heavily as they were! I now have great truth to use on them! Thank You Barb! (((HUGS)))
Isn’t that funny how we can have it all together one day and be a mess the next day? I know what you mean. I’ve already used them a couple of times as well. I’m so glad they were helpful, Elizabeth!
I hope my saying “This was so funny” did not come across as my saying what you wrote was funny Barb! What I meant it was funny what happened to me! That I would actually think I did not need to study this in depth!! Silly silly me!
Hi Elizabeth – I’m just getting to my e-mails as I was busy all day and had to go to a meeting tonight. No, I knew exactly what you meant! I’ll answer your other comment below. :)
Great topic and questions. Since it’s almost bed time for me I’m going to go through them inept tomorrow morning for my devotions.
That sounds good!
Excellent post. I am working through the questions. This post was a great encouragement to me.
I’m so glad, Bernard.
Great stuff!! I passed along your blog to other folks who will benefit from this post.
Thanks, Karen!
This is a great study Barb. I’ll be working through it tomorrow
(It brings to mind a post I read this week “why guarding your heart doesn’t work” – how childhood wounds carry into adulthood. http://www.messymarriage.com/2013/04/why-guarding-your-heart-doesnt-work.html )
Wow, I love that post – and what a fun blog. I’ve never been there before. Thanks for sharing it!
Just went through these questions for my morning devotion using a transition I am going through as a backdrop. The scriptures helped me remember my value because of Him. I needed reminded of that today.
Don’t you love God’s Word? I think He often uses it to embrace us and lift us up. I’m glad He did that for you today.
Great introspective questions. It’s amazing how often we can feel inadequate, and worthless. Yet, we were given His son. This thought process is one reason, I like hearing about people overcoming struggles, and others calling people failures. Our measuring stick is often different than God’s.
So true. When I use God’s measuring stick I’m much more balanced. I see my strengths and my weaknesses and I know He loves me no matter what. When I use the world’s measuring stick I vacillate between being really great (this doesn’t happen often!) and really terrible. It’s a crummy measuring stick!
I still struggle with the expectations that I have of myself. It’s been a real battle lately for me to find my contentment in Christ – so thanks for this study.
God has used it to help me with my perfectionist tendencies – I tend to have too high of expectations for myself. I hope it’s helpful for you as well.
Thanks for linking this to The Weekend Brew! I’ve gone through a similar thing before, the questions, and I think it would be great for me to revisit. The closer I get to accomplishing the dreams in my heart, the louder the voice of “your not good enough” becomes. Blessings!
I can so relate, Barbie. I’m having the same problems over here. I’m posting a Bible study on Monday that I worked through this morning that really helped with all my thoughts about how hard this book is to get out. I can’t wait til your book is out. It sounds great, and I love the cover possibilities. It is more than “good enough” – it’s GREAT!!!