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Do you ever feel like you have to say yes when someone asks you to do something? Do often find yourself saying yes and then regretting it later? Does it bother you when people are unhappy with you?
If so, you may be a people pleaser.
In this podcast, we’ll talk about 6 different things you can do if you want to break the habit of people pleasing. We’ll also renew our minds with the people pleasing questions from I Deserve a Donut.
If you’d like to subscribe to the podcast or listen to it on iTunes, click here, and then click “View on iTunes.” (It may not be there right away as I am having technical difficulties, which also explains why I have two play buttons rather than one!)
People Pleasing Questions
- Why do you want to make this person happy?
- What will make him happy?
- Are you able to make that happen?
- Will that really make him happy? Explain.
- Are you:
- Interfering with what God wants to do in this person’s life by always trying to make him happy? Explain.
- Tempted to do something God doesn’t want you to do (or not do something God wants you to do) just so you can make this person happy? Explain.
- Remembering that only God can fill this person up and make him happy?
- Neglecting your responsibilities (as a parent, for example) just to avoid making this person mad?
- How do you think God wants you to handle this situation?
- Why do you think He wants you to handle it that way?
- What would you need to sacrifice, give up, or risk to do what God wants you to do?
- What will you gain if you do what God wants you to do?
- Is there anything you need to accept?
- What can you thank God for in this situation?
Question: Are you a people pleaser? Do you have any tips for us?
This is a good reminder. I liked that you pointed out the base of this trait is grounded in selfishness. Interesting that our immediate flesh’s desire is straight to selfishness; the same as the original sin.
This one spoke to me… Thanks.
Thanks, Floyd.
I’m certainly more of a people pleaser than my wife is. For me I often have to ask myself “Why?” Am I doing this just because I don’t want to say “now” or is really the best use of my time and will I really be able to serve that person in the way they deserve to be served?
Those are great questions – and I love that second question Hadn’t thought of that one before!
I developed the gift of saying, “NO”. Too many times I felt I had to say, “YES” when people asked me to do something. It got to the point that I burned myself out trying to please people. The gift of saying, “NO” has taken away a lot of stress.
Oops – I must have missed this comment, Bernard! I know what you mean by being burned out by by trying to please people. I did the same thing. I like what you said about how saying no can be a gift. So true!