Barb Raveling

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How to Stop Worrying

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ID-10026594Do you ever worry about things you can’t control? Or even things you can control?

I’m a former worry maestro. Back in the old days, my husband would walk in the door 30 minutes late from a hunting trip and find me planning his funeral.

Thankfully, I’ve learned to go to God for help with my worries! If you’re a worrier, here are a few things that will help.

How to Stop Worrying

1. Pray with thanksgiving.

Paul tells us how to break free from worry in Philippians 4:6-7:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Praying with thanksgiving is the main way I renew my mind when I’m worried. I’ve found, though, that it makes a difference how I pray with thanksgiving.

2. Focus on the goodness of God.

If you’ve tried praying with thanksgiving and it hasn’t worked, it could be because of the things you’re choosing to thank God for.

When my husband’s late from hunting, I don’t focus my prayers on him because that just reinforces the idea that I need him to have a good life. Here’s an example of that type of prayer:

Lord, please let Scott come home safe, and oh, by the way, thank you for keeping him alive and safe so far, and thank you that he has a reliable vehicle, and thank you that he’s with a friend so the friend will probably keep him awake when he’s driving.

Instead, I focus on God. This helps me see life from His perspective: Father, please bring Scott home safe. Thank you that you are all powerful and can keep him on the road if you choose. Thank you that you are sovereign. I can trust you no matter what happens. Thank you that you love me. Thank you that You are enough even if Scott dies. 

Now you may think that last line is a little drastic. But it leads me to the next tip.

3. Accept the possibility that your worry may take place.

Worry has a way of pointing out our idols. Often, the things we worry about are the things we’re unwilling to give up.

In my experience, it’s impossible to stop worrying until I come to that place where I’m willing to live any sort of life for God – even a life where my worry comes true.

4. Find out if you can do anything about it.

Often there’s nothing you can do to prevent your worry from taking place. In those situations, you have two choices: accept it with a good attitude, or accept it with a bad attitude.

Admitting that you can’t do anything about it is necessary – because then you can focus your efforts on trusting God, rather than fixing a problem that can’t be fixed.

How to Stop WorryingOther times, you can influence the situation. In those situations, you’ll need to use wisdom to decide what to do and either oomph or restraint to do or not do it.

Here’s an example. My 21 year old son often does things I think are dangerous. (See left.) But he’s 21. It’s not my place to nag him.

Here’s my new rule that helps me use restraint: If he has a less than 10% chance of dying from whatever he’s doing, I don’t say anything!

If you struggle with worry, give these four steps a try. They’ll help even the most paranoid person (yours truly) stop worrying.

Image at the top of this post is courtesy of africa at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

P.S. If you need ideas of what to thank God for when you’re worried, here is a list of ideas: 20 Things to be Thankful For When Life is Hard. For Bible verses on worry, click here. 

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Comments

  1. The part about planning his funeral made me laugh…not because I’m morbid but because this sound soooo much like my mom! She automatically assumes the absolute worst!

    My dad was a nice balance to her, he always thought the absolute positive. I like to think I’m a good mix of the two, but I know I lean more to my mom’s way of thinking.

    These are good tips. I like the part about praying and focusing on God’s goodness. I also agree, we have to be willing to accept the worst and know God still loves us and wants the best for us. God will never take us where He isn’t already there.

    Your post reminds me of the old saying about the things we worry about the most are the things we trust God with the least.

    This phrase has really helped me let go of things and hand them over to God. I don’t want to trust Him the least with the things most precious to me. My family is in HIS hands…not mine.

    • Haha, I’m guessing a lot of women are like me. My husband is like your dad. In fact I used to say, “I have to worry, because Scott NEVER worries. Somebody needs to take the responsibility to worry around here!”

      I hadn’t heard that old saying before. Interesting! And I love how it’s helped you turn your worries over to God.

      • Too funny, my mom used to say the same thing about my dad! When he died of brain cancer it came as a real shock…it was the one thing she never worried about (or prayed about). Just goes to show we are in God’s hands and we can’t control everything (or really anything).
        I’m still working on turning my worry over, it’s a daily battle.

        • Yes – that’s a good point. I think in some ways worry is an effort to control the situation. One woman told me she feels like she needs to worry when she flies – that her worry keeps the plane up. She was just joking, but not really! :)

  3. Even the people watching your son seem to think it’s a tad dangerous (judging from the expressions on their faces). Back flips on ice/snow?! I’d worry a whole lot! And nag :)

    Thanks for sharing your journey.

    On thanksgiving prayer – I have to keep my mind on the big picture too, acknowledging that He is God and His will is sovereign. i do lay my desires before Him but He often leads me back to my motives (when I worry).

    • Haha – well, I’m truly trying to stop nagging. He’s been a snow board instructor and white water raft guide so he’s an adventurous person. But he’s also very coordinated, thankfully! Yes, God also points out my motives and usually they’re wrong when it comes to worry. I don’t worry much about safety issues any more, but still worry about people not liking me. Small steps!

  4. Great post. I sometimes worry to much. I keep Matthew 6 and Philippians 4:5-7 on mind rewind.

    • Oops! I just realized I put the wrong reference wrong on my post. Thanks for including those verses, Bernard! The Matthew one is good, as well.

  5. I normally imagine the worst possible outcomes of all, and I like being in control. Which leads to worry. A lot of times it helps me to do my part, and then trust that what is supposed to happen, will happen. I filter the really hard ones with, a reminder that I will not be given anything I cannot handle (1 Corinth 10:13).

    • I do the same thing – imagining the worst possible outcome. My life would be a lot easier if I could consistently (or even 60% of the time!) imagine the BEST outcomes possible! I love the 1 Corinthians 10:13 verse – I’ve never thought of it in that context before – I think that would be very helpful. Thanks for the ideas!

  6. Love this post Barb! I frequently use some of your ideas when I’m being a worry maestro, but I don’t usually do number three. Yet there comes a time when we have to being willing to accept the worst in order to move on. Thanks for you insights.

    • Yes, that’s definitely true for me, Sharla. Accepting the possibility that the worst may happen – even though it usually DOESN’T happen, helps me move on.

  7. The best thing that has ever happened to me with my worry was to realize that God only gives me the strength to deal with today’s problems. When I look at my current strength and it doesn’t seem like it’s enough to deal with all these potential future problems – well, my current strength isn’t enough. It’s not supposed to be. God never promised that. But he will give me the strength to handle whatever comes my way tomorrow.
    In other words, I need to depend on him to give me the strength to face whatever comes my way. And that gives me peace.

    • I’ve never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. When our then 10 year old was in the hospital for 6 weeks with a broken leg, someone said, “God gives you grace when you need it.” I’ve found that to be true, and I also believe the truth that He gives you strength when you need it. That’s comforting to think about. Thanks for the insight.