If It Feels Good Do It . . . Or Not

Posted on April 20, 2012 by

Living in a culture that incessantly preaches the message if it feels good do it, it’s hard to grow up embracing boundaries.

We think the good life is a life without boundaries . . . but is it?

Just think of your own bad habit: what happens when you do what you want, when you want? Take a minute to close your eyes and fully answer that question.

Do you live a well-balanced, peaceful life, enjoying the pleasures of your habit without regret?

Or do you live a defeated and discouraged life, always wishing you hadn’t gone quite so far with your habit?

Would your life be better with boundaries or without boundaries? I’m not talking about the next five minutes, but your overall life.

If we want to break free from our bad habits, we have to get this idea out of our heads that the good life is a life without boundaries. Because that idea is a lie.

What is a life without boundaries really like?

When I hold my desires in a clenched fist—like I often do with my time, refusing to work on my to-do list—I’m not happy.

Jobs pile up. I’m unorganized. I’m overwhelmed. And I never get enough free time to satisfy me.

When I unclench my fists and say, Okay, God, whatever you want, I’ll do it—I’m a much more structured person. I follow the rules. I work on my list. I do things I don’t want to do.

But you know what? I’m a lot happier that way.

Does your habit control you?

Why? Because I’m no longer being controlled by my indulgent nature that says, Satisfy me. Make me happy. Give me more.

When I’m looking for my habit to fill me up, I never get enough to satisfy me. I’m like the broken cistern in Jeremiah 2:13:

For my people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

What’s the solution?

So what’s the solution? Keep trying to find the perfect life that will fill me up? Keep trying to use self-control to keep my habit in line?

Or keep going to God and learn how to be filled up with Him so I won’t want my habit so much?

The solution for both holiness and happiness is the same: I don’t need more habit. I need more God.

And I get more of Him when I hold my habit with open hands.

 What do boundaries really do for you?

Boundaries help me unclench my fists from the things that have a tendency to control me. They are life-enriching, God-honoring safeguards that help me live life to the fullest because they help me keep God first in my life.

When the world tells me the good life is doing what-I-want-when-I-want, it’s telling me a lie.

Questions for your journal: Think about your renewing of the mind project. What does your life look like when you live without boundaries in regard to your habit? What would it look like if you lived with boundaries? Which is the better life? Why? How does Matthew 10:37-39 apply to your project?

Questions for discussion: When Jesus got upset with the Pharisees about legalism, was He upset with the fact that they had rules or was He upset about something else? At what point, if any, do rules (or boundaries) lead us away from God? In what way do they lead us toward God?

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  • http://struggletovictory.com Kari Scare

    My first thought when I read the title to this post was of another related post that could be titled, “If it doesn’t feel good, stop doing it.” What I mean by this is the idea that people are so proned to only do what feels good, and as soon as something starts to not feel good or feel uncomfortable, they quit doing it. Just an idea…

    Questions for discussion: I think Jesus was upset because the Pharisees were preventing people from getting to Jesus. They had heaped up so many rules that people couldn’t get through them to find forgiveness, hope, love, etc. They just found condemnation at their inabiliteis to keep the rules. It’s at this point that rules/boundaries lead us away from God. He knows we’re not perfect and will make mistakes, and so we need to be able to find our way to His loving arms of forgiveness. Boundaries lead us toward God when they keep us under His umbrella of protection and blessing and when they help us find His forgiveness and grace. Oh yeah, they are helpful for minimizing consequences in our lives too.

  • http://barbraveling.com Barb Raveling

    Good suggestion on a related blog post, Kari – I can certainly relate to that as I’ve had to struggle through that feeling with writing. Plus I like your insights on Jesus and the Pharisees. I wonder if we do that in the church today (heap too many rules on people, I mean). It doesn’t seem like we do, but maybe?

    • Anonymous

      Sometimes, yes I think the church heaps too many rules on people. But, I think society heaps too many rules on the church too. It’s a two-way street. Finding a church that is what my pastor calls a “grace church” has been one of the best experiences in my life. It is not perfect, but the body as a whole certainly does attempt to walk in grace.

      • http://struggletovictory.com Kari Scare

        The above “anonymous” comment is from me. I accidentally hit “post comment” before I finished. I hate it when I do that!

      • http://barbraveling.com Barb Raveling

        I didn’t think of it that way (that society heaps rules on the church), but you’re right. Interesting. I can see their point, though. If we claim that Jesus makes a difference, then they expect the church to look different. And if they don’t see us looking different, they shout, “hypocrite!” Another reason to work on transformation – to reflect Christ well. Sounds like you have a great church

        • http://struggletovictory.com Kari Scare

          We definitely need to be held to a higher standard as Christians. After all, we can’t expect non-Christians to act like Christians, can we? Nor can we be surprised when they act like, well, non-Christians. Christians definitely need to work on reflecting Christ well and helping non-Christians understand that we are just being perfected and are not yet perfect. I have an awesome church!

  • http://barbraveling.com Barb Raveling

    I agree that we need to work on reflecting Christ well. People who know us well will be able to tell if we’re being perfected or not because they’ll either see us growing and changing from year to year, or they’ll see the same old faults from year to year. The more we grow, the better we’ll be able to love – and it’s love that will attract people to God. Not to mention the fact that the better we are at loving, the more likely others will be to extend us grace when we need it.

    • http://struggletovictory.com Kari Scare

      Well said. Green and growing or ripe and rotting. People can tell the difference!

  • http://www.barbraveling.com/ Barb Raveling

    When I switched my blog to a self-hosted account last month, some of the comments switched their order. So if you read these comments and they don’t make sense, that’s why – they’re out of order!