It’s 11:30 in the morning, and I’ve already broken my boundaries. Not because I was dying to eat anything. But because I wasn’t trying that hard not to eat anything.
Granted, I’m on vacation right now. But if I think of past experience, vacation is probably one of those times when I most need to follow my boundaries.
Sometimes it’s easier to see what we need if we look at someone else’s life. So let’s take a break from food for a minute and look at the life of an alcoholic. What kind of a person needs to set rigid boundaries with alcohol?
I can think of three types of people:
- Those who love the taste of alcohol.
- Those who turn to alcohol for emotional reasons.
- Those who think it’s fun to consume large quantities of alcohol.
Recovered alcoholics know they have to be careful about alcohol. They set a rigid boundary: Not even one drink. And they follow it. The minute they start thinking, it’s just one drink, they’re in danger.
We can learn a lot from the life of an alcoholic. Although we can’t say not even one bite, we can say, not even one bite outside our boundaries.
The minute we start thinking, It’s just one bite, we’re in danger.
Bible Study
- Describe the life of an alcoholic who hasn’t stopped drinking.
- For the sake of argument, let’s say a foodaholic is a person who can’t stop eating. Describe the life of a foodaholic who hasn’t stopped eating outside her boundaries.
- Read 1 Timothy 4:7. One of the current worldly “fables” is the idea that we’re happiest when we do what we want, when we want. The less rules the better. Look over your answers to the first and second question. Do you think this is true on a practical level?
- Do you think you’re the type of person who can eat what you want when you want without having it mess up your life? Why or why not?
- Do you think an alcoholic could escape his alcoholism while still having a sip of alcohol and there? Why or why not?
- Do you think an foodaholic could escape her foodaholism while still having a bite of food here and there? Why or why not?
- Would your life be better or worse if you were to strictly follow your boundaries? Explain.
- What does the Bible have to say on this subject?
Challenge
Want to join me in a challenge? For the next three days, I’m going to make a commitment to not eat even one bite (or lick of the spoon) outside my boundaries. If I feel like eating something – before I eat it – I’ll do the following questions from my iPhone app, I Deserve a Donut. I hope you’ll join me!
Careless Eating Questions
- What do you feel like eating?
- Will you break a boundary if you eat that?
- In the past, have you been able to eat a bite here or there and still maintain discipline in your eating?
- What usually happens when you get sloppy with your boundaries?
- Is your life better or worse with boundaries? Why?
- Are boundaries easy to follow, or do you usually have to give up something to follow them?
- What will you have to give up to follow your boundary this time?
- When you think of all you’ll gain by living a life free from the control of food, is it worth the sacrifice?
P.S. For more posts on this subject, click on the boundaries category at my I Deserve a Donut blog – here’s the link: Boundaries.
I laughed because this is the EXACT conversation my friend and I had while studying “Freedom from Emotional Eating”. You are spot on. We rationalize “just a little”, yet with any other addiction that would be crazy. Actually, with this addiction (in my life) I’ve found it is. It never ends up being “just a little” but a pebble causing a rock slide.
I’m much better off when I follow the not-even-one-bite outside of the boundaries rule. I need to get back on that tomorrow after being on vacation!
I realized that there were times today when I still considered myself in my boundaries because I didn’t binge, but now realize its all this little bites that make it easier to slip into a binge. I need to make a not one bite rule as well! :)
That’s a good thing to realize, Sonja! It’s the little bites that lead to the big bites. I just finished doing today’s Bible study for myself and the question #5 really got me. I’m much happier when I stick to my boundaries – even on vacation.
This is great Barb! Thank you for all the time you have put into this Bible study and the app!
Great thoughts and questions. My wife and I are focusing on losing some weight before our vacation in about 3 weeks. Your posts are really helping us stay encouraged and disciplined.
I hope you have a great vacation!
That’s great that you guys are working on doing this together – I’m glad the posts are helping!
Thank you all. My boundary is to eat only at the table. I am struggling to br Eakins a couch eating habit. So tough!
What a great boundary. We could cut out on a lot of eating if we only ate at the table. And if we didn’t eat couches. :)
I never compared myself to an alcholic before but it’s sooo true for me with snacks. I think I can have “little” snacks but then keep going back for “little” amounts of other things. The littles add up. I like this new way of staying inside of the boundaries and finally see how they are set up and will work! Exciting! Thanks!
Great, Michelle! I always get in trouble when I start eating little bites here and there. I’m much better off when I get it in my mind, “Absolutely no bites outside my boundaries!” When I get in that mindset, I only think of food when it’s time to eat. I’m just coming back from a vacation where I was careless, so I have to retrain myself again!
Hi. I’ve just stumbled apon this and know that i need to do this. I am not overweight but I have no freedom in the area of food.
Glad to have you here, Carrie! Hope the studies are helpful. :)
This is certainly so true. I’m struggling now. I now keep a food journal and have learned that I keep having these small cheats but by the end of the week I realize how many times I had those small cheats and it’s a lot! I have to stop!
Yes, those little cheats add up! Even worse for me I think they make me think I don’t really have boundaries so then I stop even trying to follow them. The best way to break free is to renew your mind every time you break them. Even though that’s a lot of work. :) But the truth usually holds for several hours so if you can renew your mind right away it will help you follow your boundaries the rest of the day.
This is EXACTLY my problem. When I cheat a little, I stop paying attention to my boundaries. It’s like telling your kids they’re going to be punished but not following through the first time. Eventually they quit believing you.
Wow, I love that analogy, Jan. It is just like that!
Thank you so much, as I needed to hear this. I know that if I just eat one sweet, be it candy, pastry, cake, ice cream chip etx, I am on a roll. I just can’t have them in the house.
When I go to the store, I lie to myself, telling myself I can control this, but in truth I know I cannot.
I need to set a boundary not to buy or allow any snack foods in my house or eat any. to set a boundary that I will not eat any snack foods.
I know this is bad for me, and I know that I can’t have just one. I want so much to do this.
I think that sounds like a great boundary, Evelyn. I had that boundary for a long time in my life because, like you, I wasn’t capable of eating them with control. Outlawing them for a season will help until you get enough truth into your system to eat them with control. :)
I have just started this Bible study. I’m doing it along with another weight loss Bible study. They are both good, but each has its own attributes. I appreciate the time you spent creating it and guiding people along as they study. With the Lord’s help, I expect great results. My main goal is to replace my idol of food preoccupation with the true source of joy and comfort whether I actually lose any weight or not. Only God can fulfill these desires permanently.
That’s a great goal, Jan. Praying God will bless you through both of your studies!
I’m taking control over most of the food demons that had taken over my life but I’m using this also as a guide to get me moving more too. I decided that when I started to lose weight I would not call this a diet. That implies a temporary fix to lose a bit of weight. I embarked on a plan to change my food life style so that I could lose weight but not gain it back. I am only on day two of your plan but it’s reminding me of those little things I need to remember to stay on track while setting my boundaries for exercise instead of food. Thanks for putting this together.
So glad it’s helpful, Carrie! That’s a great idea to use it for food as well as exercise. Also, I love your outlook on making this a lifestyle. I really think that will be helpful. Praying God will bless you as you go through the studies!
I agree Carrie. I have learned that the term “diet” takes the responsibility off of us and places it on a food, program, or person to be responsible for our weight loss, when in fact, while dieting controls the food, it does nothing to address our relationship, thinking, and understanding about food. Wishing you continued growth!