7 Reasons We Gain Our Weight Back – and How to Stay Free from the Control of Food

I rarely do weight loss how-tos like this, but I thought I’d do one today because I know how demoralizing it is to keep losing and gaining weight. After all, I lived that life for 25+ years! I’ve also talked to countless women who have the same story. We get ourselves some self control, lose weight, and then immediately go back to our old ways and gain it back.

I’ve shared in my books how God changed me through the renewing of the mind, but today I’d like to include an overview of how to avoid gaining our weight back. I’ve learned these tips from my own experience but also from the experience of others I’ve interviewed, coached, and visited along the way. Let’s begin by looking at why we gain it back.

7 Reasons We Gain Our Weight Back

1. We let go of boundaries once we lose our weight. Think of it. Have you ever lost weight without setting some sort of boundaries? Maybe you did intuitive eating and ate only when you were hungry and stopped when you were full. Or you counted calories or did intermittent fasting. But in some way you set limits for yourself. Unfortunately, once we lose the weight, all limits often go out the window. There are two ways we do this: 1) We do it consciously. We think, “Yay!! I get to live it up again!!” Then immediately go to living it up and throw out the boundaries altogether. 2) We do it without realizing we’re doing it. This is the most dangerous of the two because we actually think we still have boundaries. Here’s an example: I may have lost my weight by counting carbs with a set limit each day. But when I lose the weight, I drop the limit and just “try to eat low-carb.” Or I lose weight by going to WW and following the plan exactly. But once I’m finished, I stop counting points, eat as many “free foods” as I want, and just “try to be careful.” My primary boundaries have gone out the window and that’s a recipe for weight gain.
2. We switch to different boundaries and don’t go through the necessary work to learn how to follow our new boundaries. With this reason, we do have boundaries–we just haven’t learned how to follow them. Here’s an example. Let’s say you lost your weight with a diet, but then you decide to switch to 3 meals and one snack a day for your boundaries. Since those boundaries are looser than what you’re used to, there’s a learning curve to figuring out how to maintain your weight within those boundaries. If we don’t make the effort to learn how to make those boundaries work, we’ll gain our weight back.
   
3. We have a new trial in our lives that makes us feel like eating. Often we’ll be going along smoothly and then something happens that makes us want to eat. Some trial that triggers all our emotional eating tendencies. Maybe there’s a pandemic. Or the world is looking a little scary. Or someone we love is having a crisis. Or we’re having a crisis. When these new trials crop up, it makes us want to eat. And we may gain our weight back at that time if we don’t take the time to regularly renew our minds about the new trial.
4. We stick to our boundaries most of the year but go off during holidays and vacations. This is a good one to think about now because we’re smack dab in the middle of the holidays–halfway between Thanksgiving in the United States and Christmas. When we go on vacation or it’s a holiday, it’s easy to justify a few extra treats. We think, Oh I’ll just eat this now and get back on track when I get back to normal life. When we do that, we usually only gain a few pounds a year, but after ten years, those few pounds a year have become 30-40 pounds and we’re back in a situation where we need to do the whole thing over again.
5. We reintroduce sugar and/or flour when that was part of the reason we lost the weight to begin with. I’ve talked to several women who lost their weight without renewing their minds. They were able to do it because they took away their biggest source of temptation: flour and sugar. Unfortunately, I’ve also talked to a lot of people who reintroduced sugar and flour at some point and either gained all their weight back because sugar can be addictive for so many people.
6. We lose it with self control and/or obsession rather than renewing. I’ve talked to many women who are either all in or all out. When they work on losing weight, they have a hard time doing it without obsessing about it. The temptation is to think about being healthy, exercising, and eating right all the time. This becomes so exhausting that eventually they can’t handle the stress anymore and go back to eating. Then there are people like me who don’t obsess and have no temptations in the exercise-too-much department, but I still used to gain my weight back because I didn’t even know how to renew my mind back in those days and my self-control could only last so long.
7. We start believing new lies and don’t take the time to renew. With this reason for weight gain, we do renew while losing it. In fact we renew our minds so much that we change the way we think about food and we no longer even want to overindulge or binge. Unfortunately, we’re often tempted to start believing a few new lies (which I’ll go over later) that help us gain part or all of our weight back if we don’t take the time to renew.

So what do we do? With so many reasons driving us to gain our weight back, is there still hope that we can avoid all of that? Yes, there is hope! The Bible tells us we can do all things through Him who strengthens us. It also tells us that He who began a good work in us will complete it. God can help us stay free from the control of food. Let’s look at seven strategies we can use to stay free from the control of food.

7 Ways to Stay Free from the Control of Food

1. Keep relying on God for help with life. Here’s one thing I’ve been trying this last year and it’s really helping (at least when I remember to do it). As soon as I feel emotionally stressed in some way, I try to stop and talk to God about it. I can’t believe how often He calms me down and gives wisdom on how to handle the situation that is stressing me. Doing this will help us avoid emotional eating, which will also help us avoid gaining our weight back!
2. Renew often about each new trial that comes up.  In addition to visiting with God about our trials, it also helps to renew our minds. You can do that in many ways, including using my I Deserve a Donut app or truth journaling. Renewing our minds helps us see the situation from God’s perspective, which helps us let go of those negative emotions that drive us to overeat.
3. Catch any weight gain early. It’s far easier to lose a couple pounds than 20 pounds. And it’s far easier to lose 20 pounds than 100 pounds. So if you can, try to find a way to catch your weight gain early. I weigh about once a week. If I find my weight is up for several weeks in a row, I try to be careful about eating less at meals until my weight is back down. If you’re a person who struggles with the scale, just see how your clothes fit. If they’re a tad tight for a couple of weeks, try to tighten up your boundaries and possibly even go back to renewing again until your clothes fit.
4. Continue to have firm lifelong boundaries. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have some sort of boundaries with food if you’re a person who loves food, enjoys large quantities, and has a tendency to eat emotionally. Boundaries keep our passions reigned in. I have a section on how to choose primary boundaries in my latest book, Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating, and also explain this a little bit more in both that book and on the podcast version of this blog post. You can access the podcast at the top of this post or follow the links at the end of the post.
5. Be VERY careful about reintroducing sugar if you lost the weight without it. Many choose to go off sweets for life because they feel it’s not worth the risk. I’ve reintroduced them into my life, but I still go all the way off them if I’m having a difficult trial or living in a situation where I feel I’ll be more tempted (such as our current lifestyle where we often live a few blocks from phenomenal bakeries!). I talk about this a bit more on the podcast episode.
6. Be careful during vacations and holidays. You can be careful by renewing your mind a couple of times a day when you’re on vacation. This is easy to do when you first wake up in the morning or when you’re on the road if you’re not the one driving. It only takes a few minutes to renew and it will help you actually want to follow your boundaries on vacations and holidays. Here are a few more tips to help with vacation eating: Vacation and Holiday Eating.
7. Check to see if you still believe any lies that make you overeat and also look out for any new lies that crop up. When you find those lies, be faithful to renew your mind and apply the truth to them. Here are a few lies that I started believing after I broke free from the control of food. I’ve also give you an example of how to truth journal each of these beliefs by including a truth with each lie.

Lies I Believed after I Lost Weight–and the Truth That Helped Me Maintain

1. It’s okay to break my boundaries because I’m free from the control of food now. I may be free from the control of food, but that doesn’t mean I can’t gain my weight back and I will gain it back if I consistently eat too much! I’m a person who needs boundaries because I love food, am not opposed to large quantities, and have a tendency to emotionally eat!
2. This little bit of sugar won’t hurt. While it’s possible this little bit of sugar won’t hurt, it’s also possible that this little bit of sugar will set in motion weeks or months or years of overeating. I should think carefully if I really want to do this and then make a plan for it if I decide to do it and go back to renewing if necessary. The truth is that I am a person who tends to overeat with sugar–I just love it too much–so I’ll probably have to be careful all of my life.
3. I still have boundaries. If I let go of primary boundaries, this will be the truth: I don’t actually have boundaries. I have intentions–more fruit and vegetables for example–but I don’t have primary boundaries that tell me how often or how much I can eat. If I really want to keep this weight off, I need to have boundaries and follow them. Boundaries keep me safe. This will be the truth if I do have primary boundaries but rarely follow them: I may think I have boundaries, but if I only follow the when I feel like following them, they’re not boundaries! I may need to go back to renewing until I get these new maintenance boundaries down pt.

I hope some of these ideas help you stay free with food and keep your weight off. Here are a couple of resources I mention on the podcast episode and also in today’s blog post.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating  I talk more about boundaries in my recent book, Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating, and hope to do a video or podcast about them sometime as well. Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating also contains 100 exercise you can use to renew your mind to break free and stay free from the control of food.

Taste for Truth: A 30 Day Weight Loss Bible Study is a 30-day Bible study focused on the lies that make you eat, body image, and the weight loss process. I wrote this Bible study to go along with the questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut, and it’s best if you have both books when you do this study. I Deserve a Donut is also available as a free app for your phone. The Android app isn’t working on new phones at the moment (November 2023), but I hope to have it up and running again soon!

Listen to the Podcast

• Google: Click here to subscribe or listen on Google Podcasts. 
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• Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Taste for Truth Podcast.”