Or that if you could just change that one thing about yourself or your life, that then people would love and respect you?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we have to perform if we want people to love and accept us.
This usually isn’t true, but we think it is. After all, that’s the way it worked in high school. Or grade school. Or the homes we grew up in.
When you learn a lesson that young, it’s easy to carry it through life, thinking that’s just the way life works.
But it’s not. At least, not usually.
Think of it. If you’re an adult, when was the last time someone yelled at you because you didn’t dunk a basketball? Or refused to talk to you because you weren’t popular? Or laughed at you because you were wearing a dorky outfit?
Chances are, you’re trying to measure up to the expectations of others because you haven’t let go of those childhood fears of what will happen to you if you don’t. Here’s a worksheet that will help you work through some of those old childhood beliefs.
Bible Study: When You’re Not Good Enough
- List some times in your childhood or young adulthood when you didn’t feel like you were “good enough” or when you didn’t live up to people’s expectations for you.
- How did you see yourself in those situations?
- How did others see you?
- How did God see you in each of those situations? (Psalm 139:13-15, Ephesians 2:10, Romans 3:23)
- How is God’s view of you different than your own view and other’s view of you?
- In what areas of your life do you currently feel like you don’t measure up?
- What are you using as your measuring stick? In other words, what is your set of standards for whether or not you’re “acceptable”?
- Think of everything you’ve read in the Bible. How do you think God feels about your measuring stick?
- How does God feel about you if you’re a believer? (Isaiah 62:4-5, Zephaniah 3:17, 1 Peter 2:9-10, Jeremiah 31:3-4, 20)
- How does that make you feel?
- If life is about being comfortable and feeling good about yourself, would it be best to leave all those situations and relationships in life where you don’t “measure up”? Why or why not?
- If life is about loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind and your neighbor as yourself—is it best to leave all those situations and relationships in life where you don’t “measure up”? Why or why not? (Note: I’m not talking about dating relationships. Those might be wise to leave.)
- Do you think God is trying to teach you anything through the situation you mentioned in #6? If so, what do you think He’s trying to teach you?
- What can you thank God for in your current situation where you don’t measure up?
P.S. For more help with insecurity, see the insecurity questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat).