Do you ever struggle with believing that your idol is really all that bad?
It’s hard to give something up when you’re not convinced that it needs to go.
Looking at the consequences of idolatry is one way we can convince ourselves. We’ll do that today by comparing the consequences of having an affair with the consequences of having an idol.
Consequences of an Affair
1. Affairs hurt innocent people.
One of the worst consequences of affairs is that they hurt innocent people. The kids and spouse especially, but also the people who know the couple.
The same is true when we have an idol. We spend so much time pursuing our idol that we hurt the people we love by ignoring them. If our idols are those people, we hurt them by being clingy, demanding, and overly protective.
Question for journal: Who, if anyone, are you hurting by the pursuit of your idol? How are you hurting them?
2. Affairs hurt the innocent spouse.
This is an obvious consequence. Affairs devastate the innocent husband or wife involved. What isn’t so obvious is how our idolatry hurts God.
He is our Father, our Bridegroom, our Comforter, and our Rock. When we reject Him in favor of our idol, He doesn’t say, “Oh well, I wasn’t all that crazy about you anyway.” He suffers.
Question for journal: How does God feel when He sees you regularly going to your idol for help rather than Him? (For a full picture, read the book of Hosea or the first few chapters of Jeremiah. For a short snippet, see Hosea 11.)
3. Affairs hurt the people having them.
Through the years I’ve known several people who have had affairs. And although the affairs were rewarding in various ways, the people involved always suffered.
One lost his wife (whom he loved). One lost his church. Several had kids who walked away from God. And one suffered clinical depression from the guilt.
If you’re married and attracted to someone other than your spouse, all you need to do to get un-attracted is to fully imagine the consequences if your attraction were to run its full course. No affair is worth the consequences.
The same is true when we’re unfaithful to God. Spend some time thinking about the consequences of idolatry, and it will make you want to give up your idol. (Note: I’m not suggesting you give up relationships and ministry if they’re idolatrous – just that you stop making them idols.)
Question for journal: How is your idol hurting you a) physically, b) emotionally, and c) spiritually? Describe life with your idol on the throne. Describe life with your idol in its rightful place. Overall, is it adding to your life or taking away from it?
4. Affairs hurt the relationship.
When a woman (or a man) has an affair, she’s essentially saying, “My needs are more important than yours–and I need someone who will love me the way I want to be loved.” It’s a selfish love.
So is idolatry. Except it’s even worse because it’s God we’re talking about. The King of the Universe. Rather than lifting Him up, we’re lifting ourselves up. Refusing to give up our idol, we stand there and say, “No, God, I need this to be happy. Can’t you see? I have to have it.”
The problem with both affairs and idolatry is that all of of these thoughts happen under the surface. We don’t realize we’re thinking them. If we did, we’d feel terrible.
That’s why it’s so important to constantly renew our minds if we want to break free from our idols. When we see the truth, we fall on our faces in repentance. We see how much God loves us, and we want to love Him back.
Even if it means giving up our idols.
Question for journal: What is one thing you can do today to give up your idol?
P.S. If you’re not sure what your idols are, take the idolatry quiz.
Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Question for discussion: How do you convince yourself that your idol needs to go?
Very poignant way to show the power of idolatry in our lives. For me, giving up idols involves not only considering the consequences of continuing down a path that pursues them but also considering the benefits of letting them go. Idolatry always has a temporal existence, and ridding my life of them focuses on the eternal.
That’s interesting, Kari. Idolatry has a temporal existence – I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I think it would help to think of it that way. And it’s definitely true – the more we get rid of our idols, the closer we are to God.
I just know for me that my idols have been things that won’t last into eternity, so it sets up a sort of priority system, I guess. The more I can get rid of a focus on that which will pass away, the more I can focus on that which will last forever. At least, this is the perspective I try to have.
A priority system, that’s a great way to look at it. With the things that matter – eternal things – getting top priority. Great perspective, Kari.
Deep post, Barb. When you look at it from that perspective, it’s easy to see the things that threaten to become idols and take us over and down. I agree completely about it being a selfish love. People who love themselves in a selfish and stingy way are the ones who suffer through their entire lives. I’ve yet once to see an overly selfish person live a happy and fulfilled life. Thanks for the eye opening post. The enemy is crafty indeed.
Wow, you’re right. I’ve noticed the same thing about selfish people, including myself when I get into a selfish rut. I’m much happier when I’m doling out grace and putting others first. Need to remind myself of that! Thanks for bringing that up, Floyd. It’s so true.
I love the concept of following our idolatry through to its consequences. When I needed to tighten up my diet, I would ask myself how I would feel AFTER I’d eaten something I wanted. Knowing I would feel lousy kept me from eating it. The key is to actually ask yourself the question which is a discipline in itself.
That’s a great short question to ask yourself, Melanie. It would work in a lot of situations. I would think the biggest thing would be just to remember to ask yourself the question, since it’s not that hard to do. Although come to think of it, if I’m working on breaking a habit, I sometimes have a hard time asking myself questions like that because I know it will make me not want my habit – and at the moment I WANT my habit. Sometimes I’ll ask them after the fact because it still helps for next time.
Barb, great post. I have stepped back from doing a few things because they were setting up the potential to become idols. I had started spending more time with them than God and my family. I have learned to count the cost. Do I want this bad enough to sacrifice my relationships and peace? If it exceeds the what I am willing to sacrifice I leave it alone. I have seen too many people in affairs with individuals and idols mess up years of progress for a few moments of pleasure. The cost is too great.
This is wise advice, Bernard: “I have learned to count the cost. Do I want this bad enough to sacrifice my relationships and peace? If it exceeds the what I am willing to sacrifice I leave it alone.”
Often, we go into things without thinking – or we stay in things even though they’re messing up our lives and our relationships. Your question would be a good basis for a conversation with God about our potential idols. Thanks for contributing.
This is really powerful, Barb!
Thinking of my worry (idol) sitting on a throne really shines light on how silly it is that I “worship” worry and allow it to have such a prominent position in my life. It hurts God that I’d rather allow worrying thoughts to dominate my day than to focus on His goodness, faithfulness and love.
Really eye opening post. Great job!
I noticed writing coming up a lot for me when I did the idol quiz, so I redid the quiz to find out what part of writing was the problem. It was eye opening. I wonder if it would work the same with worry – it’s a big category but it would be interesting to find out what aspects of worry are the problem – worry about children, jobs, what people think, etc. It could be that those are more the idol than worry and worry is just an emotional reaction.
Interesting…it will take work and effort to delve into, but it will be worth it!
Thanks, I’ll let you know how it turns out…when I eventually discover it myself :)
I’ll be interested to hear it. :)
This is my first time commenting on this amazing (for me, life-changing) blog and I realize this is an older post but I just had to comment!
TCavey, when I pictured my idol on a throne it made me sick to my stomach! Well, because my idol is the approval of a certain family member..wow, what an eye opener that was.
I used to have that idol too, Diane, so I know how hard that one is. I too loved TC’s visual. It really makes you sick when you think of it that way! Thanks for taking the time to comment! Glad to have you here at the blog!
I’m so glad you found Barbs blog, Diane. She’s an excellent writer, her posts bring great revelations about my walk with God.
Congrats on recognizing an idol in your life. They’re often so well hidden we don’t realize they are there, taking our focus off God and hindering our relationship with Him.
Now that you’ve identified it you can begin dethroning it from God’s rightful place. For me this is a continual process that drives closer to God. I cannot remove the idol in my own power so I must learn to walk in the Spirit and trust in God’s grace to forgive me as I continue to fail. Thankfully His grace is limitless!
Barbs blog and books have helped me greatly in learning to renew my mind in the Word of God and to stop trying to do things in my own power. Yes, I’m responsible for my growth in Christ but I’m not to do it alone. It’s a journey with God, a relationship that brings greater joy than any worldly idol can.
I look forward to reading more of your comments.
Take care and God bless.
I think it was Alanis Morrisette who said “Don’t put me on a pedestal, ’cause I’m afraid of heights” – and every person, place, or thing that *we* put up there *will* come tumbling down – law of gravity in some cases, law of unintended consequences in others.
Every thing that I’ve put before God started with me putting myself before Him, and every pain that I incurred as a direct result of that was a self-inflicted wound – no matter how much I would have loved to blame another (and did, for a long time).
Great post – uncomfortable, but good :)
Hi Rick, for some reason my other comment to you is showing up as a separate comment rather than a reply. If you go to my blog, you’ll see it as a separate comment.
(This comment is for Rick, but for some reason – probably me! – it didn’t post to you.)
Interesting quote. I had actually included something in my post about putting ourselves on pedestals in the fourth point but took it out when I was trying to shorten it up. I have a terrible time trying to keep posts under 500 word and don’t often succeed!
But your point is interesting because when we put ourselves on the pedestal, we’re the ones who come tumbling down – we always mess up our lives in some way, even if it’s just being terribly unhappy like Floyd mentioned in his comment.
I love your comment about the self-inflicted wound and our tendency to blame others for those wounds. I wonder if that’s an unconscious coping tendency so we don’t have to deal with our own sin?
Hi Barb!
Thanks for the kind words. As to keeping it under 500 words? Be my guest – I’m not trying to write “War and Peace” myself, but if a post exceeds 1,000 words and both holds my interest as a reader or says everything I needed it to say as a writer, I don’t cut it back. I’ve stopped making compromises for people with short attention spans and too-busy lives, mainly because I *was* one of them. Cancer gives you a whole new perspective on the days you have :)
Oh, and don’t worry – I’ll keep coming back :)
That’s good to hear. I feel the same way when I read other people’s blogs – if it’s information I need to hear, I don’t mind if it’s long. I didn’t realize you’ve had cancer – are you in remission?
I had esophageal cancer. Treated in 2009 at Mayo; they say I have a 60% chance of making it the full 5 years to the “We consider that cured” mark. Call it remission, or an interlude – each day is more precious, and I want them to count for something for Him :)
Wow, that would be motivational, all right. Esophageal probably isn’t one of those ones you’d want to get. But you’ve made it 3 or 4 years now? That’s looking good!
I’ve been told that, should there be a recurrence, there is nothing that can really be done – maybe a little more chemo, maybe radiation – since I no longer have an esophagus (this kind that I had is really aggressive – miss one cell and it can be back, but in a different organ system) surgery is pretty much a “fuggedaboutit” deal. They don’t have me doing PET scans (or any other diagnostic procedures) for that reason.
That being said, November 30 will be 4 years :)
God’s got this :)
The wonderful thing about God is that it’s great either way – to live is Christ, to die is gain. But still, it would be nice to be here for family. I’m guessing it’s definitely a trust building experience. And it sounds like you’re trusting – that’s good.
# 2, on God’s reaction to our rejection is so funny. Oh am so glad He doesn’t react that way! This past Sunday the message was on how God loves us the same – whether we are on best-behavior or our worst day, He’s loves the same. Quite reassuring and a great reminder today
Once I get my mind and heart together, it’s almost always a heavy conviction that “convinces” me to let go. Also thinking about the consequences. I’ve learned some idols are really hard task masters! Loosing say my peace and joy over an already frustrating idol is no way to live.. :) e.g writing and blogging. I enjoy it but if it becomes an idol, it becomes a chore, not a joy and blessing.
Wow, you hit the nail on the head, I think, Ngina – it’s enjoyable as long as it’s not an idol. The more I give up my need to have writing be easy, my need to be liked, and my need to an exciting life (which in my book writing doesn’t qualify as), the more I enjoy writing. I actually enjoy it more than 50% of the time now, so I’m making great progress!
I like what you said about fully imagining the the consequences of an affair and using that knowledge to keep you from being attracted to someone other than your spouse. I think it’s good advice, however, it’s also difficult to do because sin has a way of blinding us. I recently counseled a friend who was involved in an affair and I pleaded with him and tried to show him how bad this would end up for his family. Unfortunately he couldn’t see it and ended up leaving his family for another woman. In his mind he made a decision that was “better”. I guess it comes down to making sure that our minds are being constantly pulled back into line by the truth of God’s Word. Without that happening on a regular basis we are in great risk of not even seeing the consequences of our sin.
Good point, Caleb. In order to know the truth to put to the lies, we need to steep ourselves in the Word of God. I think imagining the consequences of an affair would only work in the very beginning of an attraction – not once you were involved in the affair. Thanks for sharing your example. I’m sorry for your friend and his family.
Another aspect that really helps is being involved in a close community of believers. Knowing that you have several people who genuinely care for your spiritual state can make a huge difference.
This is about the 10 times I have tried to reply to your post. This hits me personally because our son has set himself up as his idol and is now divorced. He has two young children who of course are affected by this. It is amazing to me the lies he has believed, how blind he is. I pray the Lord will blast him in the face with the consequences of his sin…and also pray this hurt does not become my idol. Good post Barb…
Wow, that’s hard, Betty. And doubly hard to watch your grand kids suffer. It sounds funny to hear you pray that the Lord will blast him in the face with the consequences of his sin, but I know what you mean. Sometimes that’s what it takes, painful as that is, to come around and see how we’re going astray. And the crazy thing is that it would be a loving action on God’s part because His purpose would be for your son’s good, your grandkid’s good, and your (ex) daughter-in-law’s good.
I pray in my own life that I come around in the areas that need to come around before God has to blast ME in the face with the consequences of my sin!
Thanks for sharing, and I’ll pray for your son and his kids and their mom. Isn’t it hard to watch our adult kids suffer?
Thanks Barb for the prayer for our son. We can tell he is convicted at times but still refuses to yield. My husband reminds me that what it took for him to turn to the Lord, a heart massive heart attack at 26. God did not cause the heart attack laying the hospital for a month got him to look upward. Even after that it took a few years. God is long suffering and I know He is loving our son more then we ever could. Again thanks for the prayers. Enjoying your post a lot. Blessings
Wow, a heart attack at 26! That’s so young! I hope he’s doing better health-wise. Being convicted is a start at least – that’s good!
I have a friend whose wife recently was unfaithful to him. It’s been an ordeal for everyone to go through, but it has given me a new appreciation of how God feels when I’m spiritually unfaithful.
Yes, sometimes I can’t imagine how much pain God must feel as He watches our unfaithfulness – both in terms of leaving Him and also hurting others that He loves. It makes me realize even more how much He loves us that He’s willing to go through all that pain for us.
Barb, this really spoke to me tonight as I am realizing I have made “skinny” an idol. I like your question about what is one thing I can do today to give up my idol. For me, I think it’s turning away from those things that fuel the thoughts that I NEED to be skinny. And when I say skinny, I’m talking unrealistic expectations of my body–and really just not being content with where I am at right now. The things that fuel those thoughts are images from Hollywood, but also what I see posted on Facebook or even in some discussion forums I’m part of. The temptation to feed this idol is everywhere. I am learning to turn my eyes and ears away from it. God wants me free! I have to let myself not be ensnared by all of it.
I can relate, Christina, because skinny was also an idol for me in the past. And I think you’re right – some of those things we look at fuel our thoughts. As I was reading what you wrote, I was thinking of the images I see on Pinterest boards for health, fitness, and nutrition. It’s hard to live in this culture and not be bombarded by the message that we have to have perfect bodies because the messages are everywhere in the form of pictures. Not that there is anything wrong with having a great body. :) I’m glad you’re learning to turn your eyes and ears away from the messages!
What if your boyfriend had become your idol? How do I place him back to being below God and loving God more?
I think that’s pretty common, J. I guess I would say to just practice holding him with open hands. Maybe look for signs that you’re clutching him too tightly and renew your mind every time that happens, accepting what you need to accept and then mentally giving him up to God.
Here’s an example. Some women will tell me that they get really nervous when their boyfriend or husband doesn’t text them back right away. This could be a sign of holding on to him too tightly. So every time it came up, they could truth journal about the situation (I have info on my blog about how to truth journal), and then submit to God, saying, “Okay, God, I love this guy and I want to be in a relationship with him, but I love you more. If he leaves me, I’ll be okay because I’ll have You.” So it’s kind of a mental letting go and remembering that God is enough.
It would probably take awhile to get over it but could be done over the course of time as you go to God every time it comes up. And this would all be assuming it’s a healthy relationship that God would want you to be involved in. If it’s one God doesn’t want–say for example a relationship with a non-Christian–then I think putting him below God would mean giving him up, even though that would be incredibly hard to do.