Have you ever tried to break a habit, all excited about the way your life was going to change, and then had it all come crashing down over your head? Maybe you slipped up a couple of times. Or you received a few discouraging remarks from a friend. Or maybe you just got sick of walking the straight and narrow. Whatever it was, all of a sudden, you became convinced you could not change. And that’s when you feel like giving up.
This has happened to me so many times I can’t even count them. My tendency is to wallow in I-can’t-do-this-land. The only way I can continue to pursue growth is to rely on the One who has the power to change me.
Following are five steps you can take to press on when you feel like giving up.
5 Steps to Take When You Feel Like Giving Up
1. Pull out your spiritual weapons.
Sometimes we forget we’re in a spiritual battle. Satan doesn’t want us to break free from our strongholds, and the easiest time to attack is in the beginning, before we’ve made much progress. If you feel like you’re being attacked, fight lies with truth.
Here’s a Bible study that will help you know what you’re up against: Gathering Your Tools. Here’s a Bible study that will help if you’re being attacked right now: Spiritual Warfare and Your Project.
2. Remember that growth is not a diagonal line.
If you’ve ever seen a stock market chart of a rising stock, you’ll notice the stock doesn’t go up in a nice smooth diagonal line. Instead it goes up a little, then down a little, up a bunch, then down another little bit.
If you were to sell your stock in one of those downward jags, you’d miss out on a lot of income.
It’s the same way with a renewing of the mind project. Some days you feel like you’re already living in victory land. You can’t believe how much you’ve grown. And then the next day, you’ll feel like a failure.
Don’t give up on those failure days. Just keep renewing your mind and wait patiently for that line to start going up again.
3. Persevere.
We are transformed by the renewing of the mind. If we keep renewing our minds, God will transform us. How fast that happens is up to God, not us.
Remember Jericho? They had to walk around that big city 7 times. Remember Naaman and his leprosy? He had to jump in the river 7 times. Remember the Israelites? They had to sit through 10 plagues before they were able to escape from their slavery.
When you feel like giving up, remember all those Bible guys that came before you – and keep pressing on.
4. Don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t be surprised when you fail. Of course you’re going to fail. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be in this boat! It takes all kind of little failures to reach the point where you’re no longer failing. So rejoice that you’re still trying. If you weren’t trying, you wouldn’t be failing.
Remember, God convicts. Satan condemns. If you’ve sinned, ask God for forgiveness and move on. If you’re struggling with self-condemnation, try this Bible study on failure.
5. Enjoy your time with God while you’re waiting.
For me, the best thing about renewing my mind is the fellowship I experience with God. He loves me right now. Before I change. While I’m changing. And after I change. I don’t have to measure up for Him to love me. I just have to turn to Him.
And that’s incredibly comforting.
Question: What do you do when you feel like giving up?
Other Weight Loss Resources
Taste for Truth: A 30 Day Weight Loss Bible Study is focused on the lies that make us eat, body image, and the weight loss process. I wrote this Bible study to go along with the questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut, and although you can do the study without I Deserve a Donut, it’s best if you have both books.
I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat) is a renewing of the mind resource to use in the midst of temptation and also to prepare yourself for temptation. I use it all the time, just for regular life. It is filled with 36 sets of questions and over 150 Bible verses that you can use to have conversations with God about life and food. The questions and Bible verses will help you renew your mind, taking off the lies that make you eat and putting on the truth that will set you free. It’s also available as a free app.
Freedom from Emotional Eating: A Weight Loss Bible Study is more focused on emotional eating. Although there is material on boundaries and breaking free from the control of food, most of the book is devoted to learning how to let go of negative emotions. The comment I get most often with this book is that yes, it helped me with eating, but it helped me even more with letting go of my negative emotions.
When I feel like giving up, I start reading scripture and keep reading until the fog clears a bit. Then, I just take une step at a time. I know, not brilliant, bit it keeps me moving forward and not actually giving up.
It seems pretty brilliant to me, Kari. Both the Word and the one step at a time!
So much wise info here!
I think more Christians would live in Victory if we really understood we are in spiritual warfare daily! God’s really been pressing this concept in lately (I guess because I’m in the Easter program at church). For some reason, this Easter I’m coming to really understand the spiritual battle Jesus was under in the Garden. It really amazes me how much our God loves us!
Satan condemns. When I start feeling like a failure I have to ask if what I am hearing will edify my walk or bring me down. This helps me recognize to the voice of satan and his lies!
Thanks for bringing that up, TC. I’m so thankful the writers of the gospels included the story of Jesus in Gethsemane – there’s so much we can learn from watching how he faced that trial. It’s exciting to hear about what God is doing in your life – thanks for sharing!
I’m glad the Bible doesn’t sugar coat things. There is so much to learn!
Great points Barb. I find inspiration and encouragement when I connect with God and other people(Mentors and close friends). Perseverance is also an essential aspect when we want to quit or give up.
I also love to connect with other people. Ideally, I’d love to have an ongoing Bible study with people who are trying to break the habit or start the same habit I’m working on – but that’s not always possible! Especially since most of my habits these days have to do with writing and I don’t know many writers where I live.
Connecting with a community on a regular basis, whether taking about breaking additions or not, is so valuable. You could always start a closed group(Not open to everyone) with a few other bloggers and Skype or use Google chat to meet:)
That sounds like a great idea – one of these days I’ll get techie and look into something like that.
I eat :) And I am working on that. (with the up and down graphs!)
It’s so interesting reading this now cos I am just from talking with a friend about how to stay up, when things are feeling and looking down (I’ve forwarded her this post).
You’ve brought up something that i often forget – that I am in a spiritual battle. Sometimes when i feel like giving up, I see everything but that.
When I feel like giving up, I try to remember God’s promises to me – I flip through the pages of my journal and read what He’s spoken in the past. I spend time in prayer and worship. I try to break my normal routines, trying to get away from the “blah”, (e.g today when i woke up, the first thing i did was paint my toe nails!) and gather inspiration.
I love the 5 points. So timely for me.
I love what you do when you’re discouraged, Nigina. Worship really lifts me up – I love to put on some good praise music and worship, but I often forget to do that. Also, breaking up your normal routine – I hadn’t thought of that. That’s a great idea!
I have a Bible study on hopeless eating under the Weight loss Bible study tab that might help with what you and your friend were talking about – that one helps me if I’m discouraged. I think I just added the questions from the app to it yesterday.
i will check it out Barb, thank you :)
Many times the failures and setbacks are there to teach me lessons. I’ll often have a setback when I’m trying to do things in my power as opposed to his power. Or I’m trying to do things for my glory.
For me, those tend to be the stumbling blocks that keep me getting knocked down a little – but those end up being blessings in the end.
Interesting, Loren. I’ve had the same experience with habits for pursuing goals. I definitely think it’s God’s loving provision, not wanting me to move ahead without Him and also a little rebuke, wanting me to focus on the right things. So far, I have always needed those little knock downs!
One of the things I’ve found is sometimes it’s just surviving what you’re in, learning while you go through it, and doing what you know deep down inside is right. Our timing sometimes is a little off, and we get impatient.
That’s exactly how I feel sometimes – like I’m just surviving. I like the way you summarized it. The great thing about God is that He’s teaching us while we’re surviving – and it’s those lessons that empower us to do what is right. Without His truth, I wouldn’t be willing to submit, nor would I have the desire. God is so good and gracious to us.
The other side of this that I failed to mention is working within your strength or passion zone. When you’re doing that it helps you better push through the tough spots.
Yes, it certainly makes it easier. Writing is not a strength or a passion for me, and also plays into my personal weaknesses. I do think it’s harder to push through the tough spots because of this. On the other hand, it also seems like a trial perfectly suited to the things God is trying to teach me at the moment! And through it all, I am learning to enjoy writing.
The cool thing is that through your writing you can connect with a bigger support group too!
Yes, that has been really wonderful! I didn’t expect the people part of blogging to be so enriching. I get to learn from people all over the world and also get to connect with other bloggers who are struggling through the same things I am in the writing department. That helps!
Love this post, Barb! I like the idea that we can enjoy our time with God while we wait to succeed. One of the most powerful lessons on not giving up was in Zig Ziglar’s book, Better Than Good. A swimmer seeking to swim the English Channel quit in the fog because she couldn’t see that she was almost there. I want to keep telling myself I’m almost there!
Wow, I love that story. I’ll have to check that book out. I haven’t read or listened to anything by him in a long time – I think since I was a teenager. Could he really have been writing that long? I’ll have to check it out. Thanks, Melanie!
When I feel like giving up I remind myself that if I give up then failure is guaranteed but if I don’t loose hope and keep at it I still have a chance!
I love that philosophy, Caleb. A great idea – thanks for sharing!
Great post! Lately, I have been feeling like quitting, giving up. Your post encouraged me and gave me specific things to do instead of quit!
Thanks, Sharla. I’m glad it helped.
I just created a group about being faithful, whole, and fit. And in that group, I chose your book “I Deserve a Donut” and Bible Study “A Taste for Truth” to start us off. I even took the liberty to download your app to my phone. It has already been a blessing to me. I feel like I am at a pivotal moment in my life. And I’m having to make really tough decisions. Simply because I want to deepen my life, relationship and walk with God. And this area of obsessing over food, weight, and exercise is one area I am soooo ready to surrender. Thanks for these tips. I look forward to many more. Blessings!
Hi Erica, I’m so happy the books and app are helpful! Also, that’s cool that you created a group about being faithful, whole, and fit. That will be nice to have the fellowship and also to be able to help others along the journey. I always learn so much from others when I do a group. Praying God will help you get control over this area!