In a world of I-can-do-anything-if-I-set-my-mind-to-it, accepting the unacceptable seems wrong, somehow. It’s like giving up.
And we’re not supposed to give up. We’re supposed to fight for what we want. Be tenacious. Never give up.
But what if our goal is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourself?
Do we sometimes have to accept the unacceptable in order to love well? Even when we feel like we’re the good guy in the situation?
A Portrait of Love
Jesus was the ultimate example of accepting the unacceptable in a situation where He wasn’t the one to blame.
He could have opted out of the cross. Refused to sacrifice for people who weren’t treating Him well. Stood on His rights as the God of the Universe.
But He didn’t. Instead He went to the Father and asked Him, What do you want me to do?
A Portrait of our Culture
Too often we fight for our rights without taking the time to go to the Father.
Instead, we pick up the latest self-help book, turn on the afternoon talk show, or search through the advice column in the local paper.
They all say the same thing: Is he meeting your needs? Is he willing to meet your needs? If the answer is no, the decision is implied – he’s outta here.
In a life-is-about-us world, sacrifice feels like an unacceptable option. But in a life-is-about-God world, sacrifice is often the best option.
Love is a Sacrifice
God asks us to sacrifice to love others well. Listen to these verses:
Matthew 5:43-44, 46 You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Romans 15:1a Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.
1 John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
The Joy of Sacrifice
Sacrifice isn’t just our best chance for obedience. It’s often our best chance for joy.
Think of it. Are we really happy when we stand there with clenched teeth and folded arms saying, Things have to be my way, to a person who isn’t willing – or maybe even able – to do things our way?
Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before Him. He knew that obedience would lead to joy.
We endure our crosses thinking it’s the worst thing that could ever happen to us. But when we make that sacrifice with our heart as well as our behavior, He surprises us with joy. When we only make the sacrifice with our behavior, He doesn’t.
That’s why it’s so important to take the time to renew our minds and see life from God’s perspective.
Because when we see life from His perspective, we actually want to obey Him.
And when we want to obey Him, it’s easier to submit with both our behavior and our heart.
And when we submit all the way – that’s when the joy comes.
“When we submit all the way – that’s when the joy comes.” I love that line because it has proven to be so very true in my life. I try to focus on this with blogging in that I try to write what the Holy Spirit wants regardless of what I think others will think. I look at my blog sometimes and feel such joy at the privilege of being able to do it. I think the joy is coming from my obedience. Thought I’m not perfect at obedience, I love that He rewards for the intent of my heart.
Oh-oh – convicted by my own blog! Thanks, Kari, for bringing that up. I definitely need to apply the post I just wrote to myself in the area of blogging!
Happens to me all the time. Everything I write comes through either a lesson I have learned or am in the middle of learning. I am focusing on transparency more since I believe I hurt the body whem I (one of its parts) fails to function properly… I’d better stop. This is something brewing that’s a bit tender yet. Love that we are bouncing off each other like this though.
“Too often we fight for our rights without taking the time to go to the Father.”
That’s so true. We base our decisions on our own comfort instead of the word of God. And it’s also important that we keep proper love in mind, not just our culture’s idea of love. Our culture may say that tolerating certain things is the loving thing to do – but godly love sometimes confronts.
That’s true, Loren. And confrontation isn’t comfortable, either. The question is, what do you do if you’ve confronted and the other person isn’t willing or able to change. That’s not always a cut and dry answer. But we’ll make better decisions if we renew our minds before we even begin to make the decision (unless we’re in an abusive situation and need to get out quick) so we’re seeing the situation from a biblical perspective – then ask God to guide us, keeping biblical rather than cultural principles in mind.
Confronted someone last night who was not, at first, not open to hearing what I had to say. But, I had prayed about it since the initial incident, and I knew I needed to talk to her. Anyway, spent some time in prayer on it, and really felt like the Holy Spirit guided our conversation even though she still did not seem too open to changing. I am now praying that what we talked about works in her heart, and then she becomes open to my suggestions. Anyway, this post and ensuing conversation were helpful in directing my thoughts in the right direction in this situation.
Glad it helped, Kari.
We live in such a self focused culture that your points are often uncommon among most people. However they are so important. I think humility is a huge factor when it comes to sacrificing and loving others. To take the focus off our self and onto others. Great post and reminder.
I never thought of it that way, but I think you’re right, Dan. The Greek definition of humility is to not to think less of yourself, but to just not think of yourself at all – what a difference from our culture! If we’re humble – it will be a lot easier to sacrifice and love others. Sacrifice in part seems so unacceptable to us because we’re not humble. Thanks for bringing that up.
I have not heard the Greek definition in a while and what a great meaning. I think your points show the importance of being a humble leader. So important when it comes to influencing and adding value.