Do you feel like you have to be perfect? Have you ever made things harder than they need to be because you wanted things to be perfect? Do you ever agonize over decisions because you want that perfect outcome? If so, these questions and Bible verses will help you let go of your perfectionism, finish your projects, make your decisions, and start enjoying life as an imperfect person!
Ironically, I’ve been working on “perfecting” these questions for the last several years.
I am currently at our local bakery, eating a chocolate mocha tart, and rejoicing over the fact that I think I’ve finally come up with the “perfect” set of perfectionism questions.
Maybe even perfect enough to help me let go and get the book out that I’ve been working on for awhile now!
In the spirit of breaking free from perfectionism, I have whipped this blog post off in less than 45 minutes! I’m going to post it now even though I just read it and thought that introduction wasn’t all that great!
If you’re struggling with trying to make a project perfect, have a conversation with God using these questions and Bible verses. They’ll help!
Perfectionism Questions and Bible Verses
- What are you trying to do perfectly?
- What would perfection look like in this case? (Give a thorough description.)
- Are you capable of making that happen? (Be realistic.)
- Are you simply trying to excel (a good thing), or do you feel like you have to be perfect?
- Why do you feel like you have to be perfect?
- Does God think you have to be perfect? Why or why not?
- How is your perfectionism affecting the following:
- Your project or habit
- Your relationships with God
- Your relationship with others
- Your health
- Your personal well-being
- Is your pursuit of perfectionism worth the sacrifice? Why or why not?
- What would it look like to pursue this goal as a non-perfectionist?
- Would you like to make those changes? Why or why not?
Possible things you’ll need to accept: that you’ll never be perfect and neither will your projects, but since life is about God—not perfect projects—this isn’t really a big deal.
Possible things you’ll need to confess: that you’re making something more important than God wants you to make it, that you’re seeing yourself through the culture’s eyes rather than God’s eyes, that you’re hurting others in your quest for perfection, and that you don’t have time to do the things God wants you to do because you’re too busy trying to be perfect.
Bible verses
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Luke 10:41-42 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
John 8:10-11 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Note: These questions are included in my book The Renewing of the Mind Project available on Amazon!
Love these, Barb. You’ve touched on this here in this post – but I think the key to battling perfectionism is actually thinking of others. One level is that we’re making ourselves feel bad or stressing ourselves out – and then we want to ease the burden on ourselves. But sometimes that just leads us to feeling that it’s easier to be a perfectionist than it is to change. It all becomes about what’s easiest for us and will ultimately make us feel the best. Perfectionism can be relegated to just some personality quirk that we wish weren’t true but don’t do anything about.
But when we start to think about the effects that perfectionism has on others and God – that it keeps us spinning our wheels instead of moving forward for the good of others – then we have a different perspective and a new set of incentives to change.
That’s interesting, Loren. I think you’re right that the key is thinking of others. For me it’s probably wrapped up in insecurity and insecurity is a self-centered emotion. The more I think of others rather than myself, the less insecure I am and less of a perfectionist I am. Life is much easier when you’re not a perfectionist. Thankfully, I’m only a perfectionist in a couple areas of my life. Unfortunately, one of them is writing! I’ll probably have to do these questions quite a few more times before I get this next book out! :) The question that has been helping lately is #9 as it helps me see what the process should be like.
Great post Barb. This post was right on time.
That’s great, Bernard. How is the book coming? I’ve enjoyed reading it. Do you have a date yet for publishing?
Love these verses, thank you for sharing them with us.
You’re welcome. :)
Great post! Very timely read for me…but anytime you speak on perfectionist it’s timely for me since I seem to struggle with this more than I like to admit. your posts help me learn how to renew my mind in God’s truth and to see my perfectionism as God does.
Thank you.
Thanks, TC. I seem to write on it often since I struggle with it often. :) Glad it was helpful.
Really great post! I’m prone to many of the habits you mentioned at the beginning. I’ll spend some time thinking about those questions. My perfectionism is something that tends to ebb and flow, sometimes it’s barely there, and at other times it can become a real hindrance.
I hope the questions help, Micah, on those days when it’s a hindrance. They’re really been helping me.
I’m stumbling with “doing our best”. I’m struggling with the thought of knowing how to do something right yet satisfied with a half an effort. Seemingly not TRYING to do something properly. I want to overcome this if I’m wrong. I just think if you are capable of reading a ruler and it calls for 12 inches. .don’t settle for 11 1/2 because of the extra time it takes to accomplish the 12. Why am I choking on this so! It’s driving me nuts! How can I expect less of myself and others. To be satisfied with less than our best? Lord please help me with this. . It IS a problem for me!
Hi Faye, I think the answer is in choosing what situations you want to give your “best” to. That would depend on how much time it takes to give it your best and how important it is to give it your best.
So for measuring, it would take little time and it’s probably important. But on some things in life, we could spend hours on them and they’re not all that important – at least not compared to other things we could be spending our time on.
So for example my “best” might be a 5 course dinner every night with a linen tablecloth and china, but that would be impractical on a day to day level. Or I could spend 10 hours crafting the perfect blog post but if I did that I wouldn’t have time to write Bible studies.
So it’s choosing what you give your time to, recognizing that if you spend too much time being perfect in one area it takes away from time that could be spent in another area – and God might want you to spend time in that other area. Does that make sense? Let me know if I misunderstood your question!
Also, as far as expecting less of others, that’s probably helpful for both sanity and relationship because others won’t always do things according to our standards. Especially if we’re perfectionists. :)