“Oh, come on, it’s Christmas! Don’t worry about your silly little eating plan! Live it up a little!”
“Don’t be such a killjoy. One cookie won’t hurt.”
“What? You’re not going to have another helping? But I’ve been cooking all day!”
“You’re no fun anymore—I liked you better the old way.”
Have you ever heard comments like this? Often they’re said by well-meaning people who just want you to be happy. They don’t realize that some of us are alcoholics when it comes to food and that we have to be careful.
Unfortunately, those remarks can make it hard to maintain our fragile self-control. So what do we do? How do we handle situations like these? With the truth!
Here are 7 common beliefs we hold, and the truth that will help us follow our boundaries when we’re surrounded by the social pressure to eat.
1. I need to please (my mom, my family, my friends, etc.).
Truth: I need to please my Father—and I can’t always please Him and others at the same time.
2. If I don’t eat as much as they expect me to eat, they’ll be mad at me.
Truth: If I do eat what they expect, I’ll be mad at me.
3. They’ll make fun of me if I don’t eat.
Truth: I so rarely get the chance to suffer for doing the right thing (usually I’m suffering because of my sin), that I’ll take that as an honor if they ridicule me.
4. They’ll think I’m (uppity, self-righteous, judgmental, etc.).
Truth: God knows my heart, but it’s inevitable that others will sometimes misunderstand me. This is difficult and sad, but I need to press on anyway and do what God calls me to do. I’ll have to spend some time with God before the get-together so I can love the people there with a pure heart, and not a defensive heart.
5. They think I’m dumb for wanting to change my eating habits.
Truth: It’s okay if they think I’m dumb, but that may not even be the case. It’s possible they feel threatened that I’m changing and would feel more comfortable if I didn’t.
6. I’ll end up gaining my weight back and then they’ll ridicule me.
Truth: If that happens, God will help me through it. Thankfully, He can use all things for His purposes.
7. I won’t fit in if I don’t eat as much as they do.
Truth: This might be the price I have to pay for doing my Father’s will, but I’m guessing they’ll love me even if they think I’m strange. I need to stop worrying about what they think and focus on loving them regardless of what they think.
If you want to prepare ahead of time for a situation like this, try the worry questions or the insecurity people-pleasing or living up to expectations questions in I Deserve a Donut (see below).
Note: This post is adapted from a post I wrote a few years ago on my ideserveadonut.com blog.
Other Weight Loss Resources
Taste for Truth: A 30 Day Weight Loss Bible Study is focused on the lies that make us eat, body image, and the weight loss process. I wrote this Bible study to go along with the questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut, and although you can do the study without I Deserve a Donut, it’s best if you have both books.
I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat) is a renewing of the mind resource to use in the midst of temptation and also to prepare yourself for temptation. I use it all the time, just for regular life. It is filled with 36 sets of questions and over 150 Bible verses that you can use to have conversations with God about life and food. The questions and Bible verses will help you renew your mind, taking off the lies that make you eat and putting on the truth that will set you free. It’s also available as a free app.
Freedom from Emotional Eating: A Weight Loss Bible Study is more focused on emotional eating. Although there is material on boundaries and breaking free from the control of food, most of the book is devoted to learning how to let go of negative emotions. The comment I get most often with this book is that yes, it helped me with eating, but it helped me even more with letting go of my negative emotions.
There you go being so darn practical again! ;-) I love how you give examples of lies we believe and examples of the truth that can replace it!
Thanks, Heidi. I got this post idea years ago from an online friend whose family always pressured her to eat on the holidays. It really annoyed them that she wanted to eat with control. I haven’t been in that situation – for me it’s more, “Everyone else is eating – I want to eat!”
Good common sense. I think God calls us all to be leaders to one degree or another. Standing up for what we believe as well as showing self control and discipline goes a long way in being a leader by example.
Yes … now if we could just get that example part down pat. :)
Great thoughts here!
It’s about leading and managing our self and choices. To stay firmly grounded to the choices and decisions that we have made no matter who might be influences us to do something else.
Good point, Dan. Hard to live out at times, though. But God never said life would be easy. :)
Amen!
Wow! I’m a total sucker for these social pressures! I remember I had an Aunt who loved to feed me and would always tell me how pleased she was that I ate everything she put in front of me. It’s hard to turn down food when you know that eating it will please someone else!
Barb, here is a link to the post I was telling you about. http://sukofamily.org/why-american-christians-tend-to-be-fat-and-unhealthy/ I linked to your blog and your new book in it.
Thanks, Caleb. That was a great blog post. I would love to live in a culture where we were able to walk everywhere. We’ve thought of moving closer to town so we could have a walking lifestyle. I’ve also been thinking of getting a fitbit – may break down and get one this year!
Great list!
Number 4 really hits home for me in so many ways. Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Yes, that one applies to a lot of areas – not just eating. Sometimes we are judgmental, but a lot of times we aren’t – we’re just perceived that way because of our behavior. It can be difficult, especially with loved ones.
4, 5, and 6 seem particularly on point as far as my own thought processes go. Maybe it’s different being a guy – I just eat a ton of protein and no one really judges.
Yes, it’s definitely easier being a guy I think. :) Not as much pressure for guys either to be thin and trim. :)
It is our health that we need to be concern about and not what others think. I have learned people are going to say what they want and you have to take care of yourself. In the end it is your responsibility. Great post.
I agree, Bernard. You can’t please everyone so might as well do what’s best.