The more I work on breaking bad habits, the more I realize how deceitful my mind is. I rarely come right out and say, I’m going to break my boundaries. Instead, I try to make it seem like I’m not really breaking my boundaries.
I do that by telling myself little lies. See if any of these lies sound familiar:
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
- We say, this is part of my lunch, when it really isn’t.
- We say, I’ll follow my boundaries tomorrow, when we really won’t.
- We say, this is only 200 calories, when it’s really 245 calories.
- We say, I don’t eat that much, when we nibble or drink high calorie beverages all day.
- We say, I’m hungry, when we’re really not.
- We say, I’ve been faithfully following my boundaries, when we’re really breaking them one bite at a time.
In I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat), I ask three questions for denial eating:
- Will you break a boundary? If so, which one?
- How were you planning to justify it?
- Is your justification valid? Why or why not?
The first question helps me face the fact that yes, I really am breaking my boundaries. The second questions helps me capture my thoughts: Why am I saying it’s okay to break my boundaries? And 19 times out of 20, the last question makes me think, Of course I don’t want to break my boundaries!
Justification Eating Bible Study
- Look at the list of lies above. Do you ever tell yourself those things – or any similar lies? Explain.
- Why do you think you say those things to yourself rather than just telling yourself the truth?
- Do you think you’d be less likely to break your boundaries if you started telling yourself the truth? Why or why not?
- What do each of the following Bible verses have to do with this subject?
- Do you think it’s important to be honest when you break your boundaries and admit that you’re breaking them – even if it’s just one bite? Why or why not?
The following questions are from my iPhone app, I Deserve a Donut. Ask yourself these questions whenever you catch yourself justifying or denying that you’re breaking you’re breaking your boundaries:
Justification Eating Questions
- What do you feel like eating?
- Will you break a boundary if you eat this?
- Yes: If so:
- Which boundary will you break?
- How were you planning to justify it?
- Is your justification valid? Why or why not?
- No: If not:
- Will you be more likely to break your boundaries later if you eat this now?
- If so, what are the chances you’ll be able to eat this without regretting it later?
- Yes: If so:
- Are boundaries easy to follow, or do you usually have to give up something to follow them?
- What will you have to give up to follow your boundaries this time?
- What will you gain if you follow your boundaries?
- When you think of what you’ll gain, is it worth the sacrifice?
Discussion question: How would you answer #2 of the journal questions?
I say those things because I WANT to eat and not feel guilty. Simple as that.
That’s exactly what I do – I want to eat with a “clear” conscience!
Hi Barb, I love this series. Food is an area of my life that I have carefully controlled since my twenties. A blessing of having weight issues in my teens. However, fitness and activity are my downfall. I’d rather not eat than workout. So, I’m working to apply your boundaries in that area.
5 – 10 minute spurts of energy throughout the day. Trying some new things. Thanks for your great inspiration. Blessings!!
Hmm – that’s a good idea. I might be able to do better with 5-10 minute spurts of energy throughout the day rather than one long exercise session. Plus it would be nice to break up writing a bit. I might have to try that!
I also love this study. Suggestion, could you link the Bible passages to online bible?
That’s a great idea, Paula. Yes, I could do that.
I have had long stretches of time (for me at least) – several months of eating properly and releasing weight. But then comes a gradual downfall and then more of a downfall and suddenly I’m thinking that’s not so much weight I can go back anytime and get that off, then pretty soon I’m not caring about how much weight I’ve gained back. . . I think maybe that when I don’t tell myself the truth then I get close to that slippery slop of getting to the place that I don’t care – I want that to change this time!! I’ve been doing pretty good since the first of the year and I’ve released 34.8 lbs. Sooo excited and I feel good cause I’m also using my pedometer again and getting 10,000+ steps in a day except Sunday – except today (Sunday) my husband and I went on a fairly long “fun” walk! :o)
I used to do that all the time, Connie – down and up, down and up. It’ sounds like you’re doing great now – 35 pounds AND you’re telling yourself the truth. That’s what we’ll make the difference in the long run. I can’t tell you how many times I had to truth journal to change my thinking about food. Too many to count! I also love to walk – the pedometer sounds like a great idea.
Thanks Barb! It is a battle to keep speaking the “truth” and I am becoming more and more aware of how subtle the enemy is. Question – I’ve kind of jumped in the middle of this study. Are you all on Week 3 now? — Appearance Eating – I’ve read a lot of stuff today. It appears that there are two “Week 3” – how long do we spend on each of these? I’m guessing we do both of these this week. Is that correct. I need to saturate my mind with the Word! This is so good! Thank you!
Hi Connie, I think she just posted a schedule last week sometime. If you click on Heidi’s blog and look back to the posts she just posted there should be a schedule. She usually has her assignments on Monday, so you could also just check tomorrow and see what she’s assigning. She’s actually running the study at her blog, and I think she goes through two different studies each week – which might be why there’s two week Threes. Yes, I agree, it’s a battle to keep speaking the truth. Sometimes it’s hard to keep going back to God again and again for the same issues. But it’s worth it!
Thanks so much for this study. I’m so profoundly grateful to you and Heidi for wanting to help others in this area. Especially without cost. I’m finally having to come to grips with losing this weight because I need two knee replacements and the doctor says I have to lose 30 pounds for the surgery. I’ve tried everything. but just doing these questions and establishing boundries is making a difference in my life. I’m on day two of this eating change and I was able to wait until hunger last night, although I did overeat. but, now after today’s lesson, I have some new questions to put to myself BEFORE I overeat, which changes the equation a bit. Thanks once again for being generous in giving your time, talent and treasures to those who need it the most.I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
That’s so good to hear, G Marie. I’m glad the questions and Bible studies are helping. Hang in there! It can seem like FOREVER to change. The thing that helped me the most was to renew my mind as soon as I broke my boundaries – that way I wasn’t tempted to keep breaking them.
Thank you for having this online. I’ve been having weight issues for a long time and had just about given up When God truly led me to you. I have a renewed confidence that Jesus will bring me out of my overweight status to a healthy temple for Him. I love the commitment I have to trust Jesus to stick with boundaries that will glorify Him. Ive told others about this so be ready for a new crop of 2017 fired up folks..
Thank you, Toni. I appreciate that. I’m also happy to have another crop of fired up folks! Plus it’s always nice to have the camaraderie of having others share the journey with you. Hope you’ve found some folks to go through the Bible study with! And thanks again for sharing!
I can’t thank you enough for posting such a wise, Spirit-led study online, for free. :)
Pregnancy, babies, and postpartum depression have all caused me to put on so much weight over the last few years, and I have been completely unsuccessful in getting it off. Even though I’m only a few days in, I already see God breaking down barriers and revealing truth about areas of brokenness that I need to have healed in order to overcome my food addiction. I’ve tried unsuccessfully to count calories and lose weight, but I’ve failed because I haven’t treated the underlying causes. My weight is only a symptom of something deeper, and for the first time in years, I’m starting to find relief through Jesus Christ.
Thank you so much.
Oh, that’s so good to hear, Sarah! So glad you’re starting to find some relief in Jesus, and I’m glad the Bible study has been helpful! It’s hard especially in those baby years with weight and eating – I remember those days! Praying God will continue to bless you as you go through the study and work through things with Him!
Sarah – I love your comment and it really touches me because I like you, suffered all those things after giving birth. It has taken a good decade to see those “underlying issues” that you mentioned. I am so glad you are seeing them so much sooner than I did. Hospital stays, meds, etc….it was a long journey to now where daily I try to stare truth in the face and be pruned of these lifelong habits I adopted with food being a cure-all. Best to you and your precious family! – Heather
I tell myself lies so that I can hide behind the guilt and depression of being overweight. The lies seem easier only because its the comfort zone I’m so used to being in. Reality is, the truth will set me free. God will set me free as I move closer to the truth.
Yes, He will. I’m excited for how He’ll work in your life through the truth, Cindi!
Hahaha. Um.. oops. Such an eye opener when you are shown a boundary you should have, but neglected to write down. I am going to fix that right now.
Haha, I love that, Ashley! And love that you’re willing to put in a boundary when you realize that you should have one! Hope things are going well!
Thank you so much for this study! These questions are helping me get to the bottom of food issues I’ve had my whole life! Oddly, I never thought I needed boundaries because I’m not obese. I just battle the same 10 pounds over and over and really would feel better to be down those 10 plus 10 more. My justification was always, “I’m not fat, I just would like to take off a few pounds so it’s not a big deal to eat what I want this one time.” Which of course is a million times. Yesterday was eye opening to me. I have all three of the issues you mentioned for alcohol needing a boundary but with food. THAT’s why I need boundaries. Not for weight but so I can not be gluttonous and be self-controlled and to have peace! I’m tired of beating myself up over what I ate and being mentally exhausted as I constantly search for the perfect food plan!! My little bit of pudge is a very clear showing of something being off in my life. I’ve always known it…I just could never seem to figure it out until now. THANK YOU!!!
So glad this has been helpful with your food issues, Tami! It’s easy to keep that last five or ten pounds around forever but it becomes stressful when we keep trying to lose it and focusing on it. So glad the Bible study is helping!