One of the hardest things about becoming a writer has been learning how to mesh that with my relationship with God.
In the past I was a lazy person. Spontaneous, fun, and with plenty of time to sit and fellowship with God because my to-do list was always so short, I wasn’t even tempted to make life about work.
But the more involved I’ve gotten with writing and all the miscellaneous tasks required of a writer—marketing, editing, techy stuff, etc.—the more I’ve struggled with keeping God first in my life.
I’m guessing you’ve struggled with similar issues. If you’re the spontaneous, fun type, you may struggle with making God first and serving others because you just want to have fun and service isn’t always fun.
If you’re the worker type, then you probably experience some of the same struggles I’ve been having lately. Here is a journal exercise that will help, no matter which side of the coin you fall on.
Journal Exercise
- Read “Learning to Live Flexibly and Intentionally” by Marilyn Gardner at the “A Life Overseas: The Missions Conversation” Blog.
- Do you tend to be more of a planner or a spontaneous, let’s-have-fun person?
- How does your tendency affect your relationship with God and your morning (or afternoon or evening) quiet times with Him?
- If you’re a planner, how does your unwillingness to bend and be flexible affect your relationships with the people you love (or could potentially love)? If you’re a spontaneous person, how does your unwillingness to plan affect your relationships (or potential relationships)?
- Read Philippians 4:11-13. Is there anything you need to learn to be content with to love God and others better? Explain.
- Read the quote by Dallas Willard in the blog post and also read Philippians 4:13 again. One of all of our goals is to walk through life in fellowship with God, working alongside Him, visiting with Him while we work, relying on Him for each day’s set of problems. What would this look like in your own life and how would it change your life if you were to learn to live this way? Or if you’re already living this way, how has God already changed your life?
- Is there anything God wants you to change about the way you do life? If so, what?
Question: Do you tend to be a planner or a spontaneous person? Since I now have the faults (and some of the strengths) of both categories, do you have any tips for me?
I can only share the One i always do; having the discipline to study God’s word in depth on a regular basis. I tend to be obsessive and forsake all things, even good, to accomplish a task or goal. That’s when a strength becomes a weakness…
Thanks, Floyd. That’s one that’s worth sharing over and over again!
These questions are a great reflection – thank you.
Thanks, Marilyn. And thanks for a great blog post! It made writing my blog post easy today. :)
Definitely a planner. My husband is naturally spontaneous. We balance each other well and have learned to meet in the middle after 20 years of marriage. I’ve learned to make my list and my plans and then to do what’s next. I’m learning to choose relationships over my list and my plans.
That’s great, Kari. I’m still not a planner, but working on it and getting better. My husband is also a spontaneous person which is a little scary – although we do have a fun house. :)
I was going to also say that I am also learning to make my list and do what’s next. What a great way to live life. Procrastination can be just as controlling as following the list without being willing to be flexible. Do most planners always follow their lists? I’ve been thinking they do but I’m wondering if I’ve been believing a lie?
I wouldn’t say that most planners always follow their lists. I have friends who plan like crazy but aren’t very good at sticking to their plan. For me, I use it as a guideline to keep me focused, and it works well. It keeps me working on the priorities. The only thing I really let derail my plan is relationships. That doesn’t mean I always drop everything anytime anyone wants to talk, but it does mean I meat a friend for coffee even if I have writing to do and I close my computer regardless of what I’m doing when either of my boys sit next to me to talk. So, my plan is not a religious rule following approach, but it does help a ton with focus. I hope this makes sense.
It makes perfect sense, Kari, and sounds like a great, well-balanced approach to your lists. It just occurred to me as I was reading your reply that I like to plan, but not only do I not follow the list, I often lose the list. So I can see that planners don’t always follow their lists. But how about on-the-ball people. Do they procrastinate? It sounds like you don’t.
That’s great that you derail your plan for relationships. I do actually drop everything usually when anyone wants to talk. But since I don’t have too many people wanting to talk, it’s not a problem. Probably my biggest reason for derailment is just not wanting to do whatever is next on my list or feeling like I”m not capable of doing it.
In general, no I don’t procrastinate. I’m not perfect by any means, and I do put some things off. But, the list helps me not do that. My husband has set a great example of doing what needs done regardless of if you feel like it or not. He’s much better at that than me, but I’ve improved. Mainly, I just think about what happens if I put something off, and that’s usually enough motivation to get it done and to move on to other things.
I suspect that’s how most on-the-ball people are. It seems like my on-the-ball friends are like that. That’s pretty good that both you and your husband can make a list and follow it. I can make myself work on writing and writing related things for a couple of hours each day now in my own strength, but for the most part I can only follow a list if I go to God for help and renew my mind because it is such an intense weakness of mine. I’m looking forward to the day when it becomes second nature. And I believe that day is coming within the next year – hopefully sooner. :) I’ve been renewing my mind fairly consistently in this area for the last two years.
My husband doesn’t make a list that much. I make one for him sometimes :-) He’s still very productive but is able to keep track of things in his head much better than I am. For me, using a list is pretty natural. Being spontaneous is not. We all have our strengths & weaknesses, but God is made perfect in weaknesses. He continually comes through for me, and His Holy Spirit guides me every step of the way. So thankful for that!
Two productive people in one family is pretty incredible. :) My husband isn’t a list maker but he’s a hard worker. I’m a list maker but rarely follow my lists and usually stop making them because I don’t follow them.
One of the things that helped me tremendously in writing my books though was to make a list of every single step of the process and then put due dates beside each item. Since I already had the habit of writing for maybe two or three hours a day, it was easy to just do the next thing on the list. That really helped to get my last two books out and is already helping with my next one. It made me realize that I really needed to get cracking if I wanted to publish it by the date I was planning to publish it. I used Evernote and put numbers and a little box by each item on the list so I could check it off.
Using tools like you are using does so much for our productivity, Barb. Too often we flounder along and fail to use the tools available to us. Keep it up!
Thanks, Kari!
I like to plan loosely. I use to be so rigid on planning that I could not accept adjustments or changes. I was so rigid that I left off the enjoyment in accomplishing a goal. I am learning to balance being a planner and spontaneous. I believe God wants us to enjoy the journey by planning, but adding room to be spontaneous.
Wow, that’s so great, Bernard, that you’ve been growing in that way. I also believe God wants us to enjoy the journey. I’m starting to have more glimpses of what that looks like with writing and I like what I see!
I’m a planner. But I try to live by this motto “blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape”.
I heard that as a youth in Church and it’s stuck with me all these years. God’s also been working in my heart, helping me to view Him outside the boxes of my limited understanding. I’m doing a guest post this friday on that topic.
Haha, I love that motto. :) Where are you guest posting? I’ll have to watch for it!
I’ll post a link to it on my blog! Thanks so much.
Floyd and I have much in common – as do you and I, Barb. Striking the right balance between planning, and then allowing for the flexibility one needs to go through life with their wits about them is difficult. Semper Gumby (Always Flexible) is a good motto for worship team musicians – you never know when the Spirit is going to move and change everything, ditto with the senior pastor – but one doesn’t build a house out of willow.
Ever since I went from having all the time in the world as a retired, disabled caretaker of a 93-year old to becoming active once again in the web design/development world, which lets me work from home (a mixed blessing indeed!), I find it hard to schedule free time – time to just unwind – but not impossible. As I said, striking a balance is difficult. Add in addictive behavior (which as we know workaholism – any ism – is another term for addictive behavior), and the outline of the box we build ourselves into become clearer. Now? Think *outside* of the box you’ve made yourself is put to you as a challenge, and it is one that only God’s spirit can help resolve.
Good post! (This is me, coming up for air :) )
Thanks for all those insights, Rick. That was really helpful. I have an easy time scheduling in free time – I can drop work at the drop of a hat and have fun – but one of my problems is feeling like the work I do is never enough. I have a hard time drawing the line between a work day and a non-work day if that makes sense. I think it’s harder since I work at home, have no set hours, and really need to be flexible since I still have one kid at home (who is a senior this year), and still want to put her first.
The thing with working at home is that you can always do one more thing. I’m reading a great book on perfectionism that says you should set specific times to work and start at that time every day but since I’m a spontaneous, unscheduled person it’s hard for me to give that a try as I want to be flexible at all costs! It will be interesting to see if I can make myself follow a schedule when our daughter goes off to college in the fall.
Also – I never thought of what you said about the isms before – that they’re all addictive behavior. Interesting! I think you’re right. I’m guessing my overall problem is more perfectionism than workaholism since I really don’t work all that long of hours. Perfectionism and too high of expectations for myself and my writing – which I guess is kind of a definition of perfectionism – too high of expectations.
Thanks for those thoughts, Rick. They’re helping me to clarify what my real problem is.
I didn’t discover my fun side until I was 40+. (A long story.) I just thought I was kind of scatter-brained. Understanding the difference has been really helpful. The best part for me is that I consider blogging fun; so, it’s the other things I have to plan and keep organized or I would spend all day reading, writing, and commenting. :-)
I am also scattered-brained, Deb. Maybe that’s a trait of the fun person. :) That’s great that you love blogging. I’ve loved getting to know other bloggers and visiting with them as well. I just wish we could get together and visit in real life!
Wouldn’t it be fun to get everyone together. Who knows, maybe one day God will make that happen for us. I have a weekly link-up going on over CMB. Would love to have you join the party. :-)
I’ll have to check that out, Deb. Thanks!