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You are here: Home / Transformation 101 / Guest Post: A Recovering Perfectionist

Guest Post: A Recovering Perfectionist

January 30, 2013 By: Barb Raveling

This post may contain affiliate links. View our disclosure policy here.

In today’s post, a fellow renewer-of-the-mind answers some questions I posed to her about her experience with the renewing of the mind:

ID-10030796How long have you been actively renewing your mind?  

In some ways, I began as soon as I accepted Christ. Right away, I started memorizing Scripture and applying it to my life. But at some point, in a strange way, it became a tool of the enemy.

I would learn what the Bible said, and then see myself and my failures so clearly in its light.  Unfortunately, I sometimes got stuck there with self-loathing. I could now see so clearly what Jesus was like, and how unlike Him I was.

About 5 years ago a dear friend challenged me with a more methodical application of truth to the lies I allowed to play over and over in my head. That’s when I began to actively replace lies with truth.

How has God changed your life through the renewing of the mind?

God is helping me to appreciate the process of growing in Him.

One of the things I struggle with is perfectionism. I have this underlying fear that I am inordinately selfish and manipulative – far more than any normal person.  And to be acceptable in spite of this grave flaw, I must override this evil – or at least subdue it.

If I am smart, good-looking, busy, and perfect, people might believe that I am actually a good person, not the selfish, manipulative, mean-hearted person I am, and then they will love me. Sad, isn’t it?

Now I am quicker to recognize lies. This keeps me from spiraling down emotionally.

I’ve become much more discerning about my own motives, but also more diligent to apply the truth of grace, and that is resulting in becoming more gracious to others and to myself.

I know you’ve had a deep Bible study habit for a long time. What was different when you first started making a conscious effort to throw off the lies and put on the truth?  

Scripture can be a mirror, but for me that was sometimes used to beat myself up.  By choosing to renew my mind with verses that speak to a particular struggle, I’m able to stay in the truth on that issue. How I do that has varied, depending on the trial.

Sometimes I write Bible verses on index cards and keep them in my pocket to pull out and read each time I’m tempted to mentally listen to a lie.

Other times I write out all of my thoughts and emotions because they are so mixed up in my head.  I truth journal for things that get really entwined with my own sense of failure and shame.

Truth-Action-Submission* has also become a back-pocket mantra that I sometimes draw on and it is a quick easy way to corral my thoughts back to Jesus.

Was it hard to establish the habit? If so, what helped?  

Yes, it was hard.  What helped was being desperate for help, and recognizing that the direction I was going did not have a “happy ending”!

I began with truth journaling once a day, and having scriptures on cards that I could refer to each time my thoughts went the bad way.

Accountability really was huge too.  Knowing that my friend cared enough to ask if what I was doing was good for me and if I was applying truth to my situation.

Do you have a story?

I’m grateful to this woman for sharing her story with us because I think we can all learn so much from each other. If you have a renewing of the mind experience to share through an interview on either my blog or podcast, please email at the contact tab at the top of my blog!

* From the Bible study, Freedom from Emotional Eating.

 

 

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  • How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips
  • How To Renew Your Mind
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Comments

  1. tcavey says

    January 30, 2013 at 6:08 am

    The power of God and of satan is truly amazing. Far too often we forget that we don’t wrestle with flesh and blood but against spiritual forces (Eph 6:12).
    Satan knows the Bible, he’s great at manipulating it. Far too often we allow him to twist the promises of God. It reminds me that we must “Watch and Pray for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” But how can we “watch” if we don’t renew our minds in the Word of God? How do we know what to “watch” for unless we seek God?

    Lately I’ve been asking God to help me take captive the negative thoughts from satan…and He is! God really is for us!!

    Thanks so much for sharing …your testimony is powerful! God bless.

    • Barb says

      February 1, 2013 at 5:30 pm

      It’s exciting to hear what God is doing in your life, TC! I love your advice here – watch and pray.

  2. Loren Pinilis says

    January 30, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    I love the emphasis on the methodical aspect of acquiring and reminding ourselves of truth. I think that many Christians aren’t nearly as intentional as they should be in this regard, and that’s probably the difference between their victory and their defeat.

  3. Dan Black on Leadership says

    January 30, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Great questions and answers. Renewing our minds with the Words of God always is beneficial and refreshing.

  4. Ngina Otiende says

    January 31, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    What great questions and answers. At one point in my life, I walked the same road – allowing the enemy to depress with God’s truth. For some reason, I thought I was inherently more sinful than others and would never be acceptable to God – so I had to keep working to earn approval. I had a godly mentor and pastor who took through a practical process, identifying where these thoughts and ideas came from and how to deal with them.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    • Barb says

      February 1, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      Yay for godly mentors! It sounds like you’ve had some great ones, Ngina.

  5. psychowith6 says

    February 1, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    What a vulnerable and helpful interview. Thanks so much for sharing it!

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