Do you ever beat yourself up because you’re not perfect enough?
Maybe you just said something completely dumb to a friend. Or you’ve spent the night struggling with that same old sin. Or maybe you’ve just been around that “perfect” person for a little too long, and you’re feeling like a loser.
It would be nice if we could just say, “Oh, that’s right. No one is perfect,” and move on.
But often the self-condemnation is so forceful, that we can’t just move on. When that happens, it’s time to renew our minds because we won’t be able to get over it until we see the situation from God’s perspective.
In How to Renew Your Mind-Part 1 we talked about the putting on and taking off aspect of the renewing of the mind. Here’s an example of a putting off and a putting on if you’re struggling with self-condemnation over a recurring sin. The My view column is the taking off, and the God’s view column is the putting on.
|
My View |
God’s View |
| I’m such a sorry excuse for a Christian. | I’m glad you’re aware of your sin. I’d be more worried if you thought you were a great Christian (Luke 18:9-14). But don’t beat yourself up with it. Confess your sin and I will forgive you (1 John 1:9). |
| If only I were more like (that “perfect” Christian I know). | Listen, I know that guy. He’s not perfect, either. He just has different set of sins than you have. You don’t see all of them, but I do–and it’s not pretty (Romans 3:23). |
| I’m such a loser. | You are my beloved child. My beautiful work of art. My bride. I dearly love you–even when you sin. (Insecurity Bible verses) |
| I’ve done this sin too often. God won’t forgive me anymore. | I told you guys to forgive each other 70 X 7 times. Don’t you think I’d be willing to forgive you that much and more? (Matthew 18:21-22) |
| I need to change so God can accept me. | Are you kidding? I went through all the pain of sending my Son to die for you so you wouldn’t have to be perfect. Do you really think I’d go through all of that and then say, “Oh, I guess you do have to be perfect”? I love you “as is.” Go and sin no more. (Ephesians 2:8-9, John 8:1-11) |
| I’ll never change. | You’ll never change if you keep trying to do it in your own strength. Stay in my Word, renew your mind, and use spiritual weapons to fight this battle–I will change you! (See About Tab of this blog for Bible verses.) |
Image courtesy of anankkml at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Question: What do you do to break free from self-condemnation? Can you think of any other lies we need to take off with self-condemnation?
Excellent list! I use tell myself many of these things and seek Him in His word and prayer. It is in humility we receive His gift of forgiveness, peace, and joy and we all need to be reminded of that fact. Thanks for this one.
Thanks, Floyd. I love what you said about humility. God has been using blogging to work me over in that area, and I need the working over!
I have struggled with beating myself up over things that happened in the past I cannot change. I learned to trust God and accept His forgiveness and move on. I love the Phil. 1:7, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will keep my mind and heart in Christ Jesus.” Excellent work.
I’ve struggled with that, too, Bernard. I used to beat myself up all the time. It helped to recognize that I couldn’t go back and change the past, so I might as well focus on an option that actually existed. And stewing about it wasn’t a good option! That’s great that you’ve learned to trust God, accept His forgiveness, and move on. Something we all need to learn. Thanks for sharing that great Bible verse.
Barb, welcome back. I missed your blogs. And this was the perfect one for today. I had this conversation with someone yesterday! :)
Thanks, Karen. It’s been a busy summer! School started today for my college kids, though, so life should be getting back to normal in the next week or two. Looking forward to catching up on your blog!
At one time or another everyone of those statements in the left column has run through my head. The key is to shoot them down with Scriptural truth. The quicker the better!
Great advice, Caleb. Thanks for sharing. Someone was telling me that depression is caused by a person getting caught up in negative thought patterns. Another good reason to shoot those thoughts down with Scriptural truth as soon as possible!
Spend a lot of time in the word. Get around encouraging people. Read positive books. Listen to positive podcasts/sermons. Run. Bike. Fellowship. Here are my person “favorite” lies: “Why bother? No one cares.” “Why bother? No one notices. “What’s the point?” “You’re insignificant.” Overcoming them, well, I’ll let you know when that happens. Been a lifelong battle, an upward spiral if you will. Good stuff, Barb!
Those are great tips, Kari. I can definitely relate with “Why bother?” – I’ve journaled that one many a time! God always replies, “Bother because I want you to bother” or something along those lines. I’m trying to learn how to consistently write out of thankfulness to Him for what He’s done for me, out of a love for others, and just because I believe He wants to. But like you said, it’s an ongoing battle. I like the upward spiral idea. :)
GREAT post- so practical and helpful!!
Can’t wait for your new book to come out.
I’m sure you can guess I struggle with self condemnation. Just last night in our cell group I made a comment. After I said it I thought, “I blundered that. I could have said it so much more elegantly. People probably didn’t understand a word I said.”
Thanks for this post. Very timely for me.
Ha, yes, beating myself up for things I’ve said – I’ve sure been there before. Far too often. I can’t wait til my new book comes out either, because I just can’t wait to be done with all that work!! Even though I won’t really be done because I’m already working on the next one. I’m actually uploading the last interior file (I hope) as we speak, and then just have to finish the cover. I haven’t formally announced it because I’m afraid there will be a glitch!
I really appreciate that you always include the Word of God in your posts. Using the truths and promises from the Bible can allow us to break free from any strong hold or self-condemnation. The key is to actually implement the Word of God into our life. Great post and thoughts!
Thanks, Dan. I agree. The Bible is such an incredible gift, and powerful to produce change in our lives.
Your welcome. Amen!
I think simply staying in The Word helps us break free from self-condemnation.
It’s important to realize that God made no mistakes. We are uniquely designed by Him to accomplish His purposes. When we realize this, it’a a game changer.
Great post.
Thanks for that insight, Larry. Praying through Scripture has probably helped me more than anything to see myself through God’s eyes and feel loved by Him.
I like how you put these statements in opposition to truths that help us overcome this kind of thinking. I think the problem with self-condemnation is that we are condemning ourselves for something that Christ has already forgiven us of, which is a slap in God’s face if you ask me.
Interesting. A slap in God’s face. That’s really interesting. Like saying His death doesn’t count, maybe? Also maybe that it hurts Him because He loves us and doesn’t wants us to beat ourselves up. It also helps me to remember that Satan is the condemner of the saints, not God – that snaps me out of it awful fast when I think, “How would God want me to respond? How would Satan want me to respond?”
Thank you for your post today. This is what I needed to hear because I struggle with this every day. It is very hard to let go of the self-condemnation, but I am in prayer and working on it. Thank you.
I also have to work on it, Julie, especially with writing. Not sure if you have my I Deserve a Donut book – it has a set of questions for self-condemnation that help me. If you don’t and would like the questions, email me under the about tab and I’ll send them to you.
Oh my goodness gracious! It’s 2am and I’ve been feeling rotten all day long. I felt so bad I could’nt sleep. I went on amazon.com to look up christian books and stumbled upon your book. I haven’t read it; only saw it on amazon. I saw you had a website. I clicked on it and listened to a podcast and then found this post. I am bawling. It’s so true. It’s so me. I feel like I need to be perfect and when I’m not I condemn myself so deeply. Thank you so much for providing this website for people seeking help! You are a blessing!!!
Casey, I’m so glad this post and the podcast helped you! And also glad you commented because I had forgotten about this post! I have also struggled with insecurity and perfectionism – pretty intensely for the past three years, ever since I started writing seriously. I feel like God has broken the stronghold just in the last few weeks and I am LOVING the new freedom of writing without worrying about having to be perfect! I’m praying God will also help you to get over your need to be perfect. I know how hard it is!