In my last post I mentioned 15 words that would change your relationships. But what if you say those words and you can’t “just get over it”? That’s when you need to pull out some heavier-duty artillery.
In this post I want to take those thoughts from the phone conversation in the last post and show you how I would truth journal it. I’ll put it in a chart so it’s easier to read.
If you look at the chart, I’ve added one thought at the end that wasn’t in my last blog post. Often when you’re truth journaling, you’ll discover new lies as you write the truth.
When that happens, just jot it down quick and continue your truth journaling. If you want to break free from anger, you need to uncover all those lies that are making you angry and replace them with truth.
Here’s how I would truth journal this situation:
|
Belief |
Truth |
| I can’t believe he said that. | I don’t know why I don’t believe it since he often says things like that. |
| I would never say anything like that. | True. |
| He is so insensitive. | He’s often insensitive in his remarks, but he’s very sensitive in other ways. He’s really good at reaching out to others, including me. |
| Why can’t he think of someone other than himself for a change? | He does think of others in many ways. Just not in the area of what he says. |
| Does he think I have no feelings? | I’m guessing he probably knows I have feelings since I’ve told him often enough! |
| What a jerk. | He is a beloved child of God who has a sin problem that spills over and hurts me. |
| It’s terrible that he said those things to me. | It’s not surprising he said those things to me. He’s a sinner – he’s going to sin. Just like I do. I just sin in different ways than he does. I have no right to condemn him when I’m a fellow sinner. |
Do you see how your anger would begin to dissipate as you replace lies with truth? Truth journaling always helps me see life and people from God’s point of view – and when I see them from His point of view, all of a sudden I’m not angry any more.
I hope you’ll give it a try this week with one of your relationship struggles.
I’ve found it’s helpful to not mull over the situation, but to try and go and talk to the person first. A lot of times, that diffuses things. It doesn’t give you a chance to insert your own assumptions into the narrative.
Yes, good point, Loren. Often a simple conversation will clear the air – as long as the conversation goes well!
Developing what my pastor calls “broad shoulders” has really helped me let go of hurts and offenses. (This Friday’s post will be on that topic.) What strikes me about all of this is that we really need to get at the truth while the issue is fresh and/or smaller. Otherwise, it grows, and the deception grows with it making seeing the truth more difficult. The more we lie to ourselves, the more we believe the lie. In other words, get at the truth and defeat deception as soon as possible. Keep short accounts.
That’s so true, Kari. Whether it’s a habit or an emotion, the sooner we replace those lies with truth, the better. I really notice this when I teach groups of women vs. groups of teenagers. It can be a lot harder for us older people to get over things because we’ve been believing the lies for so many years.
We simply need to keep short accounts. We can’t afford to let lies linger and turn into a foothold. Having an attitude of teachability that is grounded in a Biblical worldview allows us to defeat these lies and replace them with the only Truth that brings victory.