Do you ever feel like you will never break that habit that controls you? That’s how I used to feel about my overeating habit. It was a stronghold in my life—a place I went to for comfort and something that controlled me.
Breaking free from a stronghold, sin, or idol is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. You’ll have times when you feel like you have the problem licked, and then you’ll be right back at it again a few months down the road.
The key to breaking free is to keep going to God for help, even in the midst of failure.
Today I want to post an entry from my journal from 2003. This was back when I was in the thick of my struggle with eating, although I didn’t start living in sustained victory until about 2006. But don’t let that discourage you.
I didn’t know anything about lifelong boundaries at the time, plus I wasn’t real consistent about renewing my mind. So it probably won’t take you as long as it took me! The rest of this blog post is what I wrote in my journal that day.
3/14/03
Fear: I’ve blown my diet 2 days now. And I only lost .2 pounds last week.
Beliefs: 1. I will gain all my weight back. 2. I can’t control it.
Truth: I can’t know for sure. I might. 2. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
What I want: To still be sticking to it perfectly, not to have broken it. This is not an option!! Also, I will probably do this again in the future.
Real life options:
- Be fearful. Believe that I have no control.
- Trust in God even though this is difficult! Stand on His promises. Take up the spiritual weapon of faith (Ephesians 6).
- Give up all together. Quit trying to lose weight and try to escape from all of my fears.
Note: Some of the verses in the following chart are paraphrased since I took them straight from my journal.
Satan |
God |
1. I knew you would break it. You’re a failure!!! |
1. Yes, you are a sinner, but I love you and forgive you. You are my beloved child. |
2. You can’t do this. You’ll break it again. You have no self control. |
2. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). Through death Jesus rendered powerless him who had the power of death, that is the devil (Hebrews 2:14). Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted (Hebrews 2:18). Although He was a son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered (Hebrews 5:8). |
3. You are a terrible person who can’t do anything. |
3. There is therefor now no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). |
4. Unless you follow this diet perfectly without ever breaking it, you will not be able to maintain your weight loss (remember, at the time, I didn’t know anything about lifelong boundaries!). If you break it a couple of times, you might as well give it up because you will never make it!! |
4. Consider it all joy when you go through trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so you will be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4). God can use this suffering in my life to perfect me and draw me nearer to Him. There is a purpose to struggling! (Note: Today I would also add that we’re transformed by the renewing of the mind, not by maintaining our boundaries perfectly.) |
Satan is flying his arrows of deceit at me (Ephesians 6:16) because he knows this is an area of real stumbling for me. I have 2 choices:
1. I can accept these arrows. If I do, they will pierce my body and spread all over. I will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13). I will also accept Satan’s lies which will render me incapable of believing God’s truth and conquering this problem.
2. OR I can resist the devil and he will flee from me (Ephesians 6:14). I must gird my loins with truth (I did that with the Satan/God columns above), put on the breastplate of righteousness (try to honor God in my eating, even though it’s incredibly hard now that I’ve broken my boundaries), read my Bible to keep my heart prepared, have faith in God to extinguish the arrows of the evil one and take up the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:14-17).
Only through Him can I be successful. And I can feel confident because it is not I who walk alone, but He who lives in me who has conquered death and will give me success. And I shouldn’t condemn myself for failure but know that God is using this in my life to build me into His likeness.
I thank God for the struggle as it will bring me closer to the One I love and make me more like Him. I need to persevere and use these struggles to draw me near to Him, knowing that He understand my weakness, does not condemn me, and is calling to me, asking me to turn to Him and away from the lies of Satan.
End of Journal Entry (Note: I’m not suggesting it’s a sin to be overweight. This was a stronghold in my life so I was dealing with it from that standpoint even though you hear diet talk throughout the entry.)
Are you struggling to break free from your own stronghold? The truth is, God will use this struggle for your good if you keep going to Him for help.
Looking back on this entry from 11 years ago, I can see that God did use the struggle for good. And He broke me free. He’s also doing that with the things I’m currently struggling with and He’s doing it for you as well. Shall we press on together?
P.S. If you need help breaking free from a sin, habit, stronghold, or idol, see the breaking a habit tab or the Christian weight loss tab at the top of this blog.
Perfect timing on this post. Started my exercise/healthy eating ten days ago. Nada on the weight loss. Feel better, but the enemy is whispering in my ear on many counts. Thanks for posting. Don’t ya LOVE journals to see where we were and how far we’ve come.
Yes, it’s fun looking back and seeing where God has taken us. :) I’ve noticed too from myself and others in my weight loss classes that a lot of people feel like giving up somewhere between day 10 and day 14. It’s especially frustrating when there is no weight loss! But if we just hang in there, it gets better!
Good for you, Barb. I’m amazed how well you can reason things out with God’s word as the foundation. Great stuff.
Thanks, Floyd. I love the practical application of Scripture!
Thanks for sharing this and being so authentic. Habits are very hard to break: but they do help us depend more on Christ and not rely on our own strength. Good reminder.
Yes, that’s true. And if we were to break them in an instant, we’d miss out on a lot of growth and fellowship. Although, I still wouldn’t mind the instant method every once in awhile!
It often takes a few years for us to see how God used those lessons in our lives. Keeping a journal like you did was wise!
That’s definitely a great advantage to journaling. It’s fun to look back and see what God has done. :) But for me the most important part of journaling is just the discipline of looking at regular life through a biblical perspective – taking off the lies and writing the truth on the pages of my journal.
My stronghold is anxiety. Which leads to eating – or not eating in the past. Now, instead of not eating, I eat everything in sight. And I’m still always hungry. I need to lose about 22 pounds, but will settle for 8.8 pounds as that will get me into my BMI zone. Just this morning I’ve been asking myself if I will always battle with this, and then I read this in your post, “plus I wasn’t real consistent about renewing my mind” and I realise that there is a part of me enjoying this mind game I am playing with myself a little too much, otherwise I would’ve given it up by now. If I want to move past this, I need to be more consistent about renewing my mind and thinking differently. Maybe even a lot. As Hubby said the other day when I was complaining about my weight, I haven’t even started trying hard enough. In other words, I haven’t really given this all my attention to get where I need to be just to be in the healthy weight range. At the time I was quite annoyed with him – not because he was wrong, but because he was completely right.
I think you hit the nail on the head about your need to renew your mind if you want to lose the weight. The more I work on habits, the more I realize, if I really want to break that habit, I need to renew my mind EVERY time i break it. And the surprising thing is that if I follow through on my commitment, the change doesn’t take years like it does when I’m more sporadic with the renewing of the mind! But it’s hard to follow through on the commitment. It would be helpful to have an accountability partner or get involved in a Bible study of others who are working on the same thing. Thanks for sharing your story. I thought it was funny about being annoyed with your husband because he was right. :)
Wow! I feel like the Lord led me to this…just yesterday, I wrote a post entitled “What do you do when you’ve tried 100 times and failed?” (http://www.servingjoyfully.com/2014/06/24/what-do-you-do-when-youve-tried-and-failed-100-times/) and it is about this very topic. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and food addiction. I list all three because they feed off one another and work in a cycle to keep me bound. I desperately want to beat it, but some days it seems impossible. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony.
Hi Crystal, I just read your blog post and sounds like we have had similar experiences! I’m going to try adding the link again here because the one you left didn’t work – it got me to your blog but not to the post: http://www.servingjoyfully.com/2014/06/24/what-do-you-do-when-youve-tried-and-failed-100-times/
I love your idea of making a contest out of it! That sounds fun. I also have some free Bible studies at the top of this blog if you want to try those. They also include some of the questions that are in I Deserve a Donut. I know it seems impossible at times but I love the conclusion you came to in your blog post – that you can either quit or keep trying and you’re going to keep trying. Good for you! Hope it goes well and thanks for commenting and adding the link to your blog.
Thank you so much for your response, Barb. I just keep praying that I will come out victorious on the other side one day.
I think you will. God is powerful. :)
I forgot to tell you, Crystal, I also have a podcast coming out in the next couple of weeks (hopefully!) that is an interview with a friend of mine who felt like she couldn’t lose her weight, then went on to lose 140 pounds through the renewing of her mind. When I get it out, I’ll post it on this blog in case you’re interested (I haven’t started the podcast yet so it’s not available in iTunes yet.)
Thank you for sharing something so personal, Barb. I, too, continue to struggle having good days and not-so-good days. I can see that your journal entry might fit the battle I’m fighting, changing some of it to fit the need.
Thanks, Thomas. I agree, I think it does fit any battle. The more I work on my own habits and idols, the more I see that the key is just to keep renewing my mind every single time I break my boundaries or experience that emotion that shows that my idol is rearing its ugly heels – and of course it helps if I can do it the minute I’m tempted or just starting to get frazzled, but I’m not always capable of that. I find the same thing – good days and not-so-good days. But over time those victories add up and at some point I’m living in victory. Yes, that can take years, but it happens eventually if I keep taking off the lies and putting on the truth. I’m glad my post was helpful to you.
Reading this gives me hope. So many portray the journey of breaking these strongholds as a “one and done” type of thing and it’s nice to see others who are transparent with how long it took them to really deal with everything. I literally just posted on my own blog about not giving up and this is just a nice reminder that I’m on the right track!
Just read your blog post, Rachel, and love it – plus I love the name of your blog. I’m a fellow homeschool mom so I could relate. (My youngest just graduated from high school which just ended 22 years of homeschooling!) I know that God sometimes transforms in an instant – and that would of course be wonderful – but more often than not it seems like it’s a slower process of learning to walk with Him day by day. Perseverance is key, and I’m glad you’re not giving up!
Barb, I spent my college years barely eating, and then began binging right after I graduated and got married. I can relate to your list of Satan’s lies. So thankful for God’s healing grace and truth.
That’s wonderful, Deb, that you broke free from it. Yes, I am also thankful for God’s healing grace and truth!
Barb, I just started a bible study on the book, “Crave”. I have failed so many times at controlling my eating but I am determined to be persist ant till I get it whipped. It does take a full commitment to over come. My dear hubby has lost 73 pounds with Weight Watchers, he is such an encouragement to me. I do most of my unhealthy eating late at night since I am up late due to sleep issues. I believe if i could go to sleep early that part of eating would stop. Going to the doctors soon to get a sleep study, hoping it will reveal the source and through a program I can get a handle on my weight. I love it that you write about his and your honest approach to it makes me know you really do understand an eating issue.
I know how hard it is, Betty, and a lot of people struggle with night time eating. One of the things I think is helpful for that is to do your Bible study in the evening, before you’re tempted. If you have I Deserve a Donut, you could also journal through a set of questions in the evening, or write down some of the Bible verses in your journal just to sink them into your mind. The sleep study is a great idea too. Hope it helps!
I loved watching the youtube video and hearing your voice, as well as words of wisdom. The Lord is blessing your ministry. And I’m one of those who have been blessed by your efforts to help me break strongholds.
Thanks, Karen. I’m also working on my own strongholds. It’s nice to have company. :)
Great entry Barb! We have to keep focusing on God and going back to Him no matter what!
Thanks, Dan. I agree!
Words can’t express how much this blessed me. Keep encouraging.
Wow, thanks, Bernard – I appreciate that! And I’m glad it blessed you!